To weight watchers that is. I can't do meetings because my schedule won't allow for it, so I signed up for the online program. I was hesitant in doing this since I'm essentially paying for tracking and I could get that for free at myfitnesspal. However...I think I needed a monetary incentive. I need to reminders to weigh in, and the slight pressure of wasting something I've paid for.
A few months ago I dropped Weight Watchers. Didn't feel as though the new plan was working for me. I probably didn't give it much chance. Since my first and second successful forays into WW I kinda did the plan 1/2 or 3/4 when I did do it. This kept me around the 145 range. After I lost my first amount of weight, I lost the commitment I guess. I've been feeling pretty lousy lately. Clothes not fitting the same, extra jiggle in my walk. Today, on a whim, I stepped on the scale........
159 lbs......
I am up almost 15lbs in the last 6 months I guess. Holy crap. That had my literally running to my computer to sign up for WW Online. Half-assed does not cut it. Giving in to stress and eating a chocolate bar doesn't cut it. I cannot do moderation. If I have a little bit, I have it all. I've never learned the moderation rule. Time to exercise some "wantpower" instead of "willpower". Tracking and exercise work...this is not a difficult equation.
I need to follow through on my commitment and get to where I want to go and stop just waiting for it to happen to me and being pissed off and unhappy when it doesn't.
Weigh-in is this Friday. Wish me success (luck has nothing to do with something I have full control over!)
Sunday, 30 October 2011
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
Don't you hate it when...
The gym is freaking busy?? On the day your motivation is riding high and you really want to work out and there is not one machine available...not one! This is my condo gym, not a big corporate one or anything, but still. I think that they could have made our gym bigger...we have two buildings sharing one set of amenities and it only has 3 treadmills, with only 2 of them being operational right now. Gah...I hate it when this happens!! I still have my runner's high from Sunday and I am determined to make it continue till tomorrow.
I am also tracking my food...I'm 115 calories over my daily intake :( Damn lasagana-esque dinner I had. It was really yummy though, and I had veggies with it :) I had anticipated eating only half of the regular serving, but it looked really big on my plate, so I'm thinking that I may have actually measured out closer to the full serving, so I counted the full serving calories. Le sigh to being accountable.
Work is stressful as always...but I am more determined to not let that dictate what I eat. I turned down McDonalds and banana bread today. Repeatedly. That's progress :)
Here's hoping the gym's not busy tomorrow morning!
I am also tracking my food...I'm 115 calories over my daily intake :( Damn lasagana-esque dinner I had. It was really yummy though, and I had veggies with it :) I had anticipated eating only half of the regular serving, but it looked really big on my plate, so I'm thinking that I may have actually measured out closer to the full serving, so I counted the full serving calories. Le sigh to being accountable.
Work is stressful as always...but I am more determined to not let that dictate what I eat. I turned down McDonalds and banana bread today. Repeatedly. That's progress :)
Here's hoping the gym's not busy tomorrow morning!
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Did my First 5K!
Today was the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon that had the marathon (of course), half marathon, 10K, and 5K. I signed up for the 5K months ago when I was full of dreams and ambitions. I ran maybe, like 3 times in preparation for it. Just last week I had made up my mind to not do it. Consider my $50 registration fee as a donation to the variety of charities that were taking part. I had no motivation to do it. I felt fat and slow, and had this huge mental block that it was going to be super hard and that I wouldn't be able to do it.
I am not going to say it was easy, but nor was it extremely difficult. Did I runt the whole way? Ya, no. I walked a lot of it, but I ran a lot of it too. I made it in 38 minutes. For someone who has never ever run 5K in her life, I figured that was pretty damn good. Plus, it felt good. I enjoyed it, and it's given me the motivation I need to continue. I want to do the Harry Rosen Spring Run Off, and I figure if I work through this winter (hello treadmill), then I can make it a goal to run the whole way and improve my time. I'd love to be at the 30 minute mark (or under!) What I liked is that my Moroccan, who normally does these things in like 20 minutes with no training whatsoever, was only 13 minutes ahead of me. That felt good :)
I've also been toying with going back to Weight Watchers. I looked into meetings again, and at like $60 a month, that just isn't going to work. Online is just basically tracking, so I'm back to My Fitness Pal and my own willpower to set a weigh-in day and stick with it. I don't want to pay over $20 a month just to track. I am going to stick with my own calorie goal and my fitness goals and see how I do.
On a completely different note...does anybody get headaches when they exercise? I find that when I am going hard, I get massive headaches. I still have one from the run today. I used to do some pretty intense Jillian Michaels or Tommy Europe workouts and I'd be dying at the end, not from main body exhaustion (well, there was that too), but my head would be killing me. Enough to see a doctor you think? It's enough to make me scale back, or find excuses to not go as long, which I don't want to do. Just wondering.
Tomorrow is my new start. I am going to track tonight and ignore all the work temptations that are sure to come. Being in education sure does make you squishy! Students are forever bringing you things, having farewell parties, birthdays etc., and it's like a personal insult to them if you don't partake. *sigh* I love my field but, damn!
And in other unrelated news...I had a great week with my mom who was visiting from BC for Thanksgiving. I miss her so much. Hard to be on the other side of the country. We ate too much, toured around Toronto, and made me look forward to Christmas that much more!
I'm off to find more painkillers for this headache (Tylenol sucks!!) Happy Sunday :)
I am not going to say it was easy, but nor was it extremely difficult. Did I runt the whole way? Ya, no. I walked a lot of it, but I ran a lot of it too. I made it in 38 minutes. For someone who has never ever run 5K in her life, I figured that was pretty damn good. Plus, it felt good. I enjoyed it, and it's given me the motivation I need to continue. I want to do the Harry Rosen Spring Run Off, and I figure if I work through this winter (hello treadmill), then I can make it a goal to run the whole way and improve my time. I'd love to be at the 30 minute mark (or under!) What I liked is that my Moroccan, who normally does these things in like 20 minutes with no training whatsoever, was only 13 minutes ahead of me. That felt good :)
I've also been toying with going back to Weight Watchers. I looked into meetings again, and at like $60 a month, that just isn't going to work. Online is just basically tracking, so I'm back to My Fitness Pal and my own willpower to set a weigh-in day and stick with it. I don't want to pay over $20 a month just to track. I am going to stick with my own calorie goal and my fitness goals and see how I do.
On a completely different note...does anybody get headaches when they exercise? I find that when I am going hard, I get massive headaches. I still have one from the run today. I used to do some pretty intense Jillian Michaels or Tommy Europe workouts and I'd be dying at the end, not from main body exhaustion (well, there was that too), but my head would be killing me. Enough to see a doctor you think? It's enough to make me scale back, or find excuses to not go as long, which I don't want to do. Just wondering.
Tomorrow is my new start. I am going to track tonight and ignore all the work temptations that are sure to come. Being in education sure does make you squishy! Students are forever bringing you things, having farewell parties, birthdays etc., and it's like a personal insult to them if you don't partake. *sigh* I love my field but, damn!
And in other unrelated news...I had a great week with my mom who was visiting from BC for Thanksgiving. I miss her so much. Hard to be on the other side of the country. We ate too much, toured around Toronto, and made me look forward to Christmas that much more!
I'm off to find more painkillers for this headache (Tylenol sucks!!) Happy Sunday :)
Sunday, 18 September 2011
Looking for that wagon...again
I can't believe that my last post was about a month ago. I completely dropped the ball there. It's been a rough month with work and that has kind of spilled over into everything else.
To catch up, Ramadan is over. So the boy and I are back to normal on that front. I also have my 5K coming up in 4 short weeks. Yikes. Have I been training? Uh, ya, no. I started way back in August. Then stopped. I'm not sure what my excuse is this time. Work? Maybe. I work a lot. But that doesn't stop other people. Extreme laziness? Much more likely. I haven't gotten to the point where running is so much like second nature that I miss it when I don't do it. I have so much stress and so little free time that I am like one of those obsessive hoarders with the free time I do have. Exercise just isn't high up on the list of things I want to do when I have free time. This is likely because I think of exercise as work. I'm not sure if this is normal...is it? I don't think so. Who wants to do work? No one. So if I have that attitude then I am never going to do it. My mom is an inspiration on this front. She works out like 5 times a week, and feels as if her day is missing something if she happens to miss a day. If I miss a day I'm secretly (or not so secretly) thrilled because it's one less thing I have to do. That's not really conducive to what I'm trying to do here.
Some people argue that thinking of exercise as "work and therefore mandatory" will make it easier to do. I think I am about to buck that trend. I work 9-5, and then 6-8:30 pm, Monday to Friday, and then 9-1:00 pm on Saturdays. I sure as hell don't want to do anything else termed "work". I want to rest. I want relaxation...how do I change my viewpoint from exercise being something, like work, that I have to do, to something that I do to relieve stress, to relax etc.? Other people do it, and I am just not sure how they do it. Probably by just sucking it up and doing it, lol.
I know you have to do something you enjoy...and while I am not enthusiastically enjoying running just yet, I definitely don't hate it. I like the feeling of my muscles working, of stretching and lengthening as I open my stride. I love being in the zone and just focusing on my breathing and pushing through to levels I haven't been at before. I don't dislike it. That's not the problem. Well, except for running outside, I still have a love-hate relationship with that.
I've written before about changing my attitude about exercise to something I "get" to do, versus something I "have" to do. Obviously I am still struggling.
I have also been struggling with my eating. No tracking in any capacity. And definitely not making the best choices. There has been Mcdonalds, cupcakes, fish and chips, and general just bad food behaviour. I have to go back to some tracking system and dig down deep and find my willpower from wherever the hell it's been hiding the last 2 months. I can say no to a bloody cupcake...that's right...I CAN say no! My choice. Eff all those food pushers. The only person who has the final say on what goes in my mouth is ME. If I hurt someone's feelings because I refused food, so be it. My overall feelings of worth and health well being are far more important.
So...short story long...I am looking to climb back on that wagon. A little bruised and battered, and slightly squishier than I was a few months ago, but with grim determination to take some control of my life in light of the frickin chaos that is reigning in other areas that I can't control. I don't want to go back to where I was...perhaps that's motivation enough.
Here's to always climbing back aboard...have a great Sunday.
To catch up, Ramadan is over. So the boy and I are back to normal on that front. I also have my 5K coming up in 4 short weeks. Yikes. Have I been training? Uh, ya, no. I started way back in August. Then stopped. I'm not sure what my excuse is this time. Work? Maybe. I work a lot. But that doesn't stop other people. Extreme laziness? Much more likely. I haven't gotten to the point where running is so much like second nature that I miss it when I don't do it. I have so much stress and so little free time that I am like one of those obsessive hoarders with the free time I do have. Exercise just isn't high up on the list of things I want to do when I have free time. This is likely because I think of exercise as work. I'm not sure if this is normal...is it? I don't think so. Who wants to do work? No one. So if I have that attitude then I am never going to do it. My mom is an inspiration on this front. She works out like 5 times a week, and feels as if her day is missing something if she happens to miss a day. If I miss a day I'm secretly (or not so secretly) thrilled because it's one less thing I have to do. That's not really conducive to what I'm trying to do here.
Some people argue that thinking of exercise as "work and therefore mandatory" will make it easier to do. I think I am about to buck that trend. I work 9-5, and then 6-8:30 pm, Monday to Friday, and then 9-1:00 pm on Saturdays. I sure as hell don't want to do anything else termed "work". I want to rest. I want relaxation...how do I change my viewpoint from exercise being something, like work, that I have to do, to something that I do to relieve stress, to relax etc.? Other people do it, and I am just not sure how they do it. Probably by just sucking it up and doing it, lol.
I know you have to do something you enjoy...and while I am not enthusiastically enjoying running just yet, I definitely don't hate it. I like the feeling of my muscles working, of stretching and lengthening as I open my stride. I love being in the zone and just focusing on my breathing and pushing through to levels I haven't been at before. I don't dislike it. That's not the problem. Well, except for running outside, I still have a love-hate relationship with that.
I've written before about changing my attitude about exercise to something I "get" to do, versus something I "have" to do. Obviously I am still struggling.
I have also been struggling with my eating. No tracking in any capacity. And definitely not making the best choices. There has been Mcdonalds, cupcakes, fish and chips, and general just bad food behaviour. I have to go back to some tracking system and dig down deep and find my willpower from wherever the hell it's been hiding the last 2 months. I can say no to a bloody cupcake...that's right...I CAN say no! My choice. Eff all those food pushers. The only person who has the final say on what goes in my mouth is ME. If I hurt someone's feelings because I refused food, so be it. My overall feelings of worth and health well being are far more important.
So...short story long...I am looking to climb back on that wagon. A little bruised and battered, and slightly squishier than I was a few months ago, but with grim determination to take some control of my life in light of the frickin chaos that is reigning in other areas that I can't control. I don't want to go back to where I was...perhaps that's motivation enough.
Here's to always climbing back aboard...have a great Sunday.
Sunday, 14 August 2011
Busy weekend
Work is still stressful, but I am determined to be successful. Yesterday I had to do an overtime day by supervising the move of our building to a new location. Wasn't too much to do, just watched other people move things, lol. Then afterwards my ex-coworker and I went for a run down by the lake. OMG...running outside is HARD! I was feeling all confident cause I was able to run on the treadmill with an incline without feeling like I was going to die. Running outside is like 10X harder! My friend is a somewhat regular runner, so she pushed me, but I did end up running continuously for much longer than I was used to.
Apparently running is an acquired taste? I was starting to like it on the treadmill, not so sure of this outside business! I have that 5K coming up in October, so I am going to keep at it. I figured out a schedule of running outside at least 1-2 times per week, and then the rest on the treadmill to get used to it. One other thing that I found, is that going slow felt way worse than going at a faster speed. Is that normal? It felt harder to keep going when I was going slow, harder to focus. Not sure why. I am going to try again this week and see what happens.
On another note...I am test driving Ramadan today. That sounds weird. But I said I would give it a try, and I am giving it a try. 7 more hours of trying. I am hungry. Not crazy hungry right now, but definitely the point where I would normally be chowing down pretty quickly. We have Iftar at his brother's today. We'll see how that goes.
Off to find something to do that doesn't require eating.
Apparently running is an acquired taste? I was starting to like it on the treadmill, not so sure of this outside business! I have that 5K coming up in October, so I am going to keep at it. I figured out a schedule of running outside at least 1-2 times per week, and then the rest on the treadmill to get used to it. One other thing that I found, is that going slow felt way worse than going at a faster speed. Is that normal? It felt harder to keep going when I was going slow, harder to focus. Not sure why. I am going to try again this week and see what happens.
On another note...I am test driving Ramadan today. That sounds weird. But I said I would give it a try, and I am giving it a try. 7 more hours of trying. I am hungry. Not crazy hungry right now, but definitely the point where I would normally be chowing down pretty quickly. We have Iftar at his brother's today. We'll see how that goes.
Off to find something to do that doesn't require eating.
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
New meaning to the term "gong show"
Wow has my professional life gone topsy turvy. People being fired or quitting left right and centre. Not such a fan of mergers by the way. And I get to find out (yesterday), that, as of next Monday, I will be fully in charge of a 100+ student school, rather than just managing the academic part of things (which is what I was originally hired for). I do not have management experience. I can run my school because I can do the academics. But I cannot be an operations manager. However, now my head office is telling me that this is not what I am responsible for. Not only am I responsible for all things student related (testing, class placement, counselling, graduation, textbooks etc etc etc), and all things teacher related (hiring, firing, managing, scheduling, pay roll, feedback/observations, etc etc etc), but now I am responsible for ALL THINGS IN THE BUILDING?? Marketing, recruiting, accreditation, contracts with the government of Saudi Arabia (?!!), agency relationships, accommodations etc etc etc etc etc etc....holy crap!!!! My pure director of studies duties take all of my time. How am I supposed to do someone else's full time job as well just because she up and quit by giving my big boss a frickin ultimatum?? (idiocy btw).
Anyway. I am not sleeping well. I am not eating well. I am still exercising, so that's a plus. But everything else has gone apeshit. Anyway...I did need to vent, so I am done. I am doing day 2 of week 2 of C25K tonight...as soon as my bad lunch gets digested a bit. In the meantime, I am going to clean my apartment and hang out with my lovely Moroccan (1.5 weeks into Ramadan!!) Oh, and I have to work a bit since the office got so depressing that I took some work home with me so I could leave early.
Here's hoping tomorrow is better!
(oh, and plans for dinner are: Basil and tomato grilled chicken (amazing!), with rice, fresh raw veggies, and a spinach salad (one of those one the fence vegetables) ) After my lunch today, I need something a little fresh and clean :)
Anyway. I am not sleeping well. I am not eating well. I am still exercising, so that's a plus. But everything else has gone apeshit. Anyway...I did need to vent, so I am done. I am doing day 2 of week 2 of C25K tonight...as soon as my bad lunch gets digested a bit. In the meantime, I am going to clean my apartment and hang out with my lovely Moroccan (1.5 weeks into Ramadan!!) Oh, and I have to work a bit since the office got so depressing that I took some work home with me so I could leave early.
Here's hoping tomorrow is better!
(oh, and plans for dinner are: Basil and tomato grilled chicken (amazing!), with rice, fresh raw veggies, and a spinach salad (one of those one the fence vegetables) ) After my lunch today, I need something a little fresh and clean :)
Sunday, 7 August 2011
The "Zone"
I love the zone...you know that feeling you get when you're exercising when it doesn't feel like you are exercising and the intervals go super quickly and you can feel the burn, but instead of pissing you off, makes you feel good and like you could go harder? I spent about half of my work out in the zone. Of course, as soon as you start thinking about being in the zone, you're out of it, but that's irrelevant at the moment. I remember the zone from when I was a competitive rifle shooter. You couldn't feel the pain (and boy did it hurt), and everything just flowed like clockwork.
I feel better about my workout today than I did yesterday. I didn't feel so heavy, I didn't feel like I couldn't do it. I did half of a 10 Pound Shred work out. Half because as I was half way through, my condo gym started filling up and there are only 3 treadmills and I really didn't want to miss my run because of busyness, so after only the 2nd rotation (there are like 8-10 exercises you do for 40 seconds each and then do the whole cycle 3 times, takes about 30-40 minutes), I switched to the couch to 5K so that I wouldn't miss it. Then I did day 1 of week 2 and only peeked once! Bravo for me! I was winded, but could still breath fairly easily. I had some new music on my iphone that kept me going. After that I hit the pool and did some laps. Not many, cause wow is swimming intense! But I managed 4 laps before I felt like I was going to drown. I will try to increase it each time. I really like swimming after my work out. Especially during the summer, it's an awesome cool down, but still productive.
I am also on day one of the 17 Day Diet. Going ok. I have resigned myself to learning to like some things. I still won't force feed myself vegetables I have a long history of disliking (squash and green beans are hiiiigh up on that list), but I can definitely make more of an effort to eat more of the vegetables I do like, and some that I am on the fence about (hello spinach and asparagus). I am having a small indulgence tonight with my protein and veggie only dinner. This is summer, and every summer I make peach cream cheese pie. It is my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE dessert. I only get it once a year (because I refuse to make it with peaches that are not Canadian, just doesn't taste as good), and so damn it, I'm gonna enjoy it! Take a cooked pie crust, then take 1 cup of plain cream cheese and mix it with 1 tbls of lemon juice and 1/2 cup of sugar. Slice up about 10 ripe peaches and toss in a peach glaze (I get my mom to send this to me from British Columbia. I haven't found the peach glaze packages in Ontario, which is highly annoying). Spread the cream cheese over the bottom of the crust, then pour in the glazed peaches. Let set for an hour or so, slice, top with whipped cream, and voila, Meg's favourite dessert :) That pie is going to get my through the rest of the day, lol.
I set up myfitnesspal to 1200 calories a day, to go along with the 17 Day Diet. However, if I am hungry, I will eat. I do not believe in starvation. I have a lot of exercise coming up and you need fuel to do that. However, I have to make better choices, which is a personal challenge. Weekends are always easy to recommit. It's the real life of Mondays and beyond that is difficult. Tomorrow I have a 12 hour day. We shall see how my planning works out.
Here's to an OP week :)
I feel better about my workout today than I did yesterday. I didn't feel so heavy, I didn't feel like I couldn't do it. I did half of a 10 Pound Shred work out. Half because as I was half way through, my condo gym started filling up and there are only 3 treadmills and I really didn't want to miss my run because of busyness, so after only the 2nd rotation (there are like 8-10 exercises you do for 40 seconds each and then do the whole cycle 3 times, takes about 30-40 minutes), I switched to the couch to 5K so that I wouldn't miss it. Then I did day 1 of week 2 and only peeked once! Bravo for me! I was winded, but could still breath fairly easily. I had some new music on my iphone that kept me going. After that I hit the pool and did some laps. Not many, cause wow is swimming intense! But I managed 4 laps before I felt like I was going to drown. I will try to increase it each time. I really like swimming after my work out. Especially during the summer, it's an awesome cool down, but still productive.
I am also on day one of the 17 Day Diet. Going ok. I have resigned myself to learning to like some things. I still won't force feed myself vegetables I have a long history of disliking (squash and green beans are hiiiigh up on that list), but I can definitely make more of an effort to eat more of the vegetables I do like, and some that I am on the fence about (hello spinach and asparagus). I am having a small indulgence tonight with my protein and veggie only dinner. This is summer, and every summer I make peach cream cheese pie. It is my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE dessert. I only get it once a year (because I refuse to make it with peaches that are not Canadian, just doesn't taste as good), and so damn it, I'm gonna enjoy it! Take a cooked pie crust, then take 1 cup of plain cream cheese and mix it with 1 tbls of lemon juice and 1/2 cup of sugar. Slice up about 10 ripe peaches and toss in a peach glaze (I get my mom to send this to me from British Columbia. I haven't found the peach glaze packages in Ontario, which is highly annoying). Spread the cream cheese over the bottom of the crust, then pour in the glazed peaches. Let set for an hour or so, slice, top with whipped cream, and voila, Meg's favourite dessert :) That pie is going to get my through the rest of the day, lol.
I set up myfitnesspal to 1200 calories a day, to go along with the 17 Day Diet. However, if I am hungry, I will eat. I do not believe in starvation. I have a lot of exercise coming up and you need fuel to do that. However, I have to make better choices, which is a personal challenge. Weekends are always easy to recommit. It's the real life of Mondays and beyond that is difficult. Tomorrow I have a 12 hour day. We shall see how my planning works out.
Here's to an OP week :)
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