Some good news and some bad news.
The good? Down 1.2....wooooo, strong pull in a very good direction.
The bad? They are closing my meeting location. It was perfect...on the way to work, at 9 am, able to stay for the whole meeting before I have to be at work, and able to weigh in on an empty stomach (which is my own personal ritual).
I found out last week, but kinda thought a Christmas miracle or something would happen and the closure wouldn't happen. No such luck. It really bummed me out. I don't understand their mentality for doing it right now. For a company that supposedly cares about the people, I find it really difficult to understand why they would take something away from people who need it so much right at the time of year when we're likely at our most vulnerable. Let's cause emotion for those who emotionally eat. Doesn't sit right with me. They could have waited until the holidays are over. It's really really bad timing.
This has thrown me for a loop. Perhaps the first real challenge of my current WW initiative. I am attached to that meeting. To the people and the leader. To lose that is extremely difficult. It will take everything I have to get through it.
Today after my meeting was a prime example of how this change could affect me if I let it. I had already decided to have pizza for lunch. But I was going to have a slice. 10 maybe 13 pp with a coke zero and I will have splurged but not gone overboard. Instead, after my meeting, the thought of having a small pizza versus a slice came into my head and never really left. So for lunch I had a small pizza with garlic dip and coke zero. And not just 2 or 3 slices of that pizza. The entire damn thing. Now, it was a small pizza...quite small actually (for the $10 I paid for it...but beside the point)...so umm, 6 small slices I think? Likely 4 slices of a regular medium pizza.
Then for dinner, I get Chinese food. Chicken fried rice and stir fried shrimp. Then Christmas cookies.
This was not my plan. I am having Jack Astors tomorrow night for a date with the bf. I had every intention of having my slice of pizza and then reasonable dinner because I knew I was having a huge dinner tomorrow.
But what's important is what I take away from this and how I handle it. Christmas is going to be insane. But for the first year I don't want to say "eff it, it's only once a year." I don't want to slip back. I am 2.6 away from getting my 10%. That's 16 lbs. That puts me over halfway to my goal. I am in the 140s now and it feels great. I don't want to lose that. But what I do from this point forward is going to dictate whether I lose that or not. I can say here that I don't want to lose that feeling or my progress, but actions speak louder than words. Without the action to back it up, the words mean nothing.
My plan for this week is:
1) Regular work out routine on Sunday
2) Work out on Monday...I get off work at 3:30. Why do I have so much difficulty working out on a day when I get off so early?? It's weird.
3) Tuesday is spin...always great
4) Wednesday - Jillian Michaels something or other
5) Thursday I pick my mom up from the airport, but I am also going to try and get to the 9:30 am meeting one subway stop from my school. I won't be able to stay for the meeting, but since weigh in happens 30 minutes before, I'll still get that. Then that evening I'll go to the same location to actually attend the meeting.
And through all of this I will keep up with my good eating habits that I've been developing (and doing pretty darn good at if I do say so myself).
Let's see if I can tackle this head on so it doesn't bury me.
Have a great weekend.
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Friday, 14 December 2012
Saturday, 8 December 2012
Updates 'R Us
This has been a rough rough week. In a follow up to my previous post, I lost again, this time at the tail end of my TOM. Down 4.4 through my TOM. Not too shabby. So down another 2lb this week. That officially put me back in the 140s! 149.8, but whatever :) That was my Christmas goal to myself. To lose basically 13lbs before Christmas. I have 0.8 to hit the actual 13, but I am stoked nonetheless.
So weight loss good. I didn't use any WPs over the week (considering I had used basically all of them at Red Lobster last weekend, this was a good thing). I only got about half of spin class....my regular instructor was away and there was a sub. Oh god was she awful. I was bored in spin class. That's not normal. The songs were slow and boring, and so was the instructor. I don't waste time doing things I don't enjoy, especially since I knew I had marking etc. to do, so I left. Then I didn't work out Wednesday or Thursday.
Why may you ask? Well...it could have something to do with the fact that bf and I put an offer on a bigger condo in our same building. It was accepted and we entered into the hell of negotiations and getting financing.
Now here's the situation....we could have gotten it. Realistically, between what we both make in our salaries and contract/freelance work, we would have been approved to carry both the mortgage of our current place (we wanted to rent it out, not sell), and the mortgage of the new place. That's about 600K...but we would have been approved. However, and this is our mistake...I take full responsibility for what happened. After the offer was accepted, we had 24 hours to come up with the $18,000 down payment. This was not going to be a problem since my bf had about 25K in his bank account from freelance work. The plan was for him to pay for the deposit, closing fees etc., and I would pay him back monthly. However, when we started looking at it, a) his money is in USD because most of his clients are American, and therefore with the exchange rate right now he would lose a lot of $$ if he were to convert it right now, and b) when it came right down to it, I couldn't afford the increased mortgage on top of paying him a loan fee. It would put my personal debt ratio up crazy high.
So on Friday morning (after my WI, which I think was helped by the like 1/4 of my dinner I was able to stomach the night before), I called the realtor and told him that we couldn't put together the deposit. He started freaking out, and got me freaking out because when you accept an offer to purchase a property, that's a legally binding document. We were contractually obligated, at that point, to purchase the property. This went on for a couple hours (and being told that the sellers could take us to court if they wanted to)...finally, I called my mortgage broker and told him to strip our incomes...take out the contract/freelance work. Would we still qualify? No? Problem solved. Got him to talk to the realtor and this whole mess was over. Property purchases are usually conditional on financing...It was such a hellish day. I can only imagine what the sellers felt like. I never in a million years wanted to cause that hardship to them. We truly, 100% wanted that condo. It was wonderfully upgraded, 2 bedroom, 2 bathrooms, parking, locker, quiet etc., good price (which in downtown Toronto is saying something). I truly feel bad for accepting something and then going back on it less than 24 hours away. I know how stressful it must be to be selling in this market. But when we looked at the brass tacks of it all, it just isn't doable at this time. We were too hasty. We're outgrowing our current place, and that frustration has led us to jump ahead of ourselves.
I had a stress ear/headache all day yesterday and just felt sick to my stomach. Apparently the realtor also called bf and was almost threatening like...I kinda had to laugh at that...you try to take the hard line with the Moroccan and he'll go in the opposite direction just to spite you. He could 100% agree with you, but if you try to pressure him, he'll go the opposite way just cause.
So it's not been a good time lately. But did I go to food? Nope. I was tempted at Starbucks yesterday morning eyeing those chocolate caramel muffins they have. It was one of the few times I actually consciously said "no, this isn't going to solve your problems," and left with my 2 pp skinny peppermint mocha.
I did indulge in a grilled cheese and clam chowder for lunch today, but I'd been thinking about it for awhile, so I'm ok with it.
Now I'm Christmas baking (I give cookie packages to co-workers) and watching the BLTs!
Here's hoping next week is better!
So weight loss good. I didn't use any WPs over the week (considering I had used basically all of them at Red Lobster last weekend, this was a good thing). I only got about half of spin class....my regular instructor was away and there was a sub. Oh god was she awful. I was bored in spin class. That's not normal. The songs were slow and boring, and so was the instructor. I don't waste time doing things I don't enjoy, especially since I knew I had marking etc. to do, so I left. Then I didn't work out Wednesday or Thursday.
Why may you ask? Well...it could have something to do with the fact that bf and I put an offer on a bigger condo in our same building. It was accepted and we entered into the hell of negotiations and getting financing.
Now here's the situation....we could have gotten it. Realistically, between what we both make in our salaries and contract/freelance work, we would have been approved to carry both the mortgage of our current place (we wanted to rent it out, not sell), and the mortgage of the new place. That's about 600K...but we would have been approved. However, and this is our mistake...I take full responsibility for what happened. After the offer was accepted, we had 24 hours to come up with the $18,000 down payment. This was not going to be a problem since my bf had about 25K in his bank account from freelance work. The plan was for him to pay for the deposit, closing fees etc., and I would pay him back monthly. However, when we started looking at it, a) his money is in USD because most of his clients are American, and therefore with the exchange rate right now he would lose a lot of $$ if he were to convert it right now, and b) when it came right down to it, I couldn't afford the increased mortgage on top of paying him a loan fee. It would put my personal debt ratio up crazy high.
So on Friday morning (after my WI, which I think was helped by the like 1/4 of my dinner I was able to stomach the night before), I called the realtor and told him that we couldn't put together the deposit. He started freaking out, and got me freaking out because when you accept an offer to purchase a property, that's a legally binding document. We were contractually obligated, at that point, to purchase the property. This went on for a couple hours (and being told that the sellers could take us to court if they wanted to)...finally, I called my mortgage broker and told him to strip our incomes...take out the contract/freelance work. Would we still qualify? No? Problem solved. Got him to talk to the realtor and this whole mess was over. Property purchases are usually conditional on financing...It was such a hellish day. I can only imagine what the sellers felt like. I never in a million years wanted to cause that hardship to them. We truly, 100% wanted that condo. It was wonderfully upgraded, 2 bedroom, 2 bathrooms, parking, locker, quiet etc., good price (which in downtown Toronto is saying something). I truly feel bad for accepting something and then going back on it less than 24 hours away. I know how stressful it must be to be selling in this market. But when we looked at the brass tacks of it all, it just isn't doable at this time. We were too hasty. We're outgrowing our current place, and that frustration has led us to jump ahead of ourselves.
I had a stress ear/headache all day yesterday and just felt sick to my stomach. Apparently the realtor also called bf and was almost threatening like...I kinda had to laugh at that...you try to take the hard line with the Moroccan and he'll go in the opposite direction just to spite you. He could 100% agree with you, but if you try to pressure him, he'll go the opposite way just cause.
So it's not been a good time lately. But did I go to food? Nope. I was tempted at Starbucks yesterday morning eyeing those chocolate caramel muffins they have. It was one of the few times I actually consciously said "no, this isn't going to solve your problems," and left with my 2 pp skinny peppermint mocha.
I did indulge in a grilled cheese and clam chowder for lunch today, but I'd been thinking about it for awhile, so I'm ok with it.
Now I'm Christmas baking (I give cookie packages to co-workers) and watching the BLTs!
Here's hoping next week is better!
Thursday, 29 November 2012
Life
It happens :) That explains my last week. Monday with no exercise turned into 4 days of no exercise (except for Thursday). That and multiple high caloric meals caused a 1.2lb gain. So even staying within points I gained, but that's what happens when you make the decision to have pizza twice in one day.
This week I am back on point. Spin on Tuesday, 30 Day Shred level 2 yesterday, with level 1 today. Planned out meals, all within points. My energy is back and I feel smaller.
Even had a major NSV today. One of my co-workers is going on mat leave as of tomorrow and today she brought in a tray of brownies and red velvet cupcakes. The brownies were the blondie variety....my favourite. I took one. Then I put it in one of my tupperware containers from my breakfast, put it in my bag, and promptly forgot about it. I'll have it tomorrow after my WI and track it accordingly.
I am also down 0.5 inches on my hips, though my thighs and waist remain the same. But if my ass is getting smaller that's friggin amazing.
Let's see what happens tomorrow :)
This week I am back on point. Spin on Tuesday, 30 Day Shred level 2 yesterday, with level 1 today. Planned out meals, all within points. My energy is back and I feel smaller.
Even had a major NSV today. One of my co-workers is going on mat leave as of tomorrow and today she brought in a tray of brownies and red velvet cupcakes. The brownies were the blondie variety....my favourite. I took one. Then I put it in one of my tupperware containers from my breakfast, put it in my bag, and promptly forgot about it. I'll have it tomorrow after my WI and track it accordingly.
I am also down 0.5 inches on my hips, though my thighs and waist remain the same. But if my ass is getting smaller that's friggin amazing.
Let's see what happens tomorrow :)
Friday, 2 November 2012
Let's turn that crap around
3rd on program WW WI...down 1.0 lb!!!!!!!!!! Friggin stoked about that. I am 1.2 lbs away from getting my 5%. I really really want that next week. Because once that's down, the next 5% puts me smack dab in the 140s and holy sh*t that'd be amazing! Cause then it's only 2 x 8lbs away from goal. I was smiling from ear-to-ear at my WI this morning. I worked really hard to get back on track after my Sat-Sun blips. What's ironic is that on Sunday I didn't even go over my daily PP target...I just ate crap and felt like crap. Saturday was just a gong show that I have no desire to repeat.
So let's look back at this week and figure out what I did. I did get in some activity. About 3 days. I say "about" cause I am not sure I should count Monday. On Monday I didn't have as much time as I thought I would after work and the trip to get new light bulbs for my kitchen, so I did probably about 15-20 minutes of lower body toning work. Nothing too crazy. Tuesday I did spin class...wow. Even the instructor was dying...that's saying something. I totally didn't want to go, but I knew what would happen if I didn't. I felt so awesome when I was done (never during...during always sucks, lol).
Wednesday I got called to supply teach so my nicely planned out evening of a healthy quesadilla with level 2 of the 30 day shred went out the window. I had a take out burrito instead for like 11 PP...it wasn't even that good...how can a burrito be bland?? It doesn't seem possible, but there you go. I got home at almost 10 pm. I was not going to work out...after working like a 10 hour day, sorry, nope. But, I did set my alarm early and Thursday I got up at 7 am and Ms. Jillian and I met over level 2 of her shred. Killed me just like last time...good times. I felt so good about that. It set me up for the rest of the day and complemented the healthy choices I had been making throughout the week.
So my week could have been better...I had a lot more initially planned, especially in terms of activity. But what I take away from this week is the decisions I made. This week's meeting topic was about decisions (food decisions, but still)...and so looking back at the decisions I made I am happy with my progress and my 1.0 lb loss. I stuck with my decision to stay OP even though getting called to teach threw a wrench in my plans. I persevered in finding a meeting I could attend on Thursday night because I knew I had to come to work early today and couldn't stay for my meeting, and the one I was going to go to on Wednesday I couldn't because of the teaching. But it was important for me to be in that room with the support and tell people that I ate two dinners on Saturday, and just ground myself in other people's stories. This had me trekking all the way out to Jane/Bloor for godsakes. That's determination, lol.
So what about next week? Well, I have already pointed out my dinner of pizza tonight. That's my last "splurge" before my bf comes home. Sunday might be difficult because I am volunteering at the Royal Winter Agricultural fair, and that's fair food, including a baked apple blossom that is amazing. To combat anything that may happen I need to up my activity. So I am going back to a training book I bought last year by Tommy Europe. It has great resistance and cardio workouts to help do overall body shaping and strengthening. He focuses on high intensity workouts and I know those work for me. That and spin class should keep me going!
Have a fantastic weekend!
So let's look back at this week and figure out what I did. I did get in some activity. About 3 days. I say "about" cause I am not sure I should count Monday. On Monday I didn't have as much time as I thought I would after work and the trip to get new light bulbs for my kitchen, so I did probably about 15-20 minutes of lower body toning work. Nothing too crazy. Tuesday I did spin class...wow. Even the instructor was dying...that's saying something. I totally didn't want to go, but I knew what would happen if I didn't. I felt so awesome when I was done (never during...during always sucks, lol).
Wednesday I got called to supply teach so my nicely planned out evening of a healthy quesadilla with level 2 of the 30 day shred went out the window. I had a take out burrito instead for like 11 PP...it wasn't even that good...how can a burrito be bland?? It doesn't seem possible, but there you go. I got home at almost 10 pm. I was not going to work out...after working like a 10 hour day, sorry, nope. But, I did set my alarm early and Thursday I got up at 7 am and Ms. Jillian and I met over level 2 of her shred. Killed me just like last time...good times. I felt so good about that. It set me up for the rest of the day and complemented the healthy choices I had been making throughout the week.
So my week could have been better...I had a lot more initially planned, especially in terms of activity. But what I take away from this week is the decisions I made. This week's meeting topic was about decisions (food decisions, but still)...and so looking back at the decisions I made I am happy with my progress and my 1.0 lb loss. I stuck with my decision to stay OP even though getting called to teach threw a wrench in my plans. I persevered in finding a meeting I could attend on Thursday night because I knew I had to come to work early today and couldn't stay for my meeting, and the one I was going to go to on Wednesday I couldn't because of the teaching. But it was important for me to be in that room with the support and tell people that I ate two dinners on Saturday, and just ground myself in other people's stories. This had me trekking all the way out to Jane/Bloor for godsakes. That's determination, lol.
So what about next week? Well, I have already pointed out my dinner of pizza tonight. That's my last "splurge" before my bf comes home. Sunday might be difficult because I am volunteering at the Royal Winter Agricultural fair, and that's fair food, including a baked apple blossom that is amazing. To combat anything that may happen I need to up my activity. So I am going back to a training book I bought last year by Tommy Europe. It has great resistance and cardio workouts to help do overall body shaping and strengthening. He focuses on high intensity workouts and I know those work for me. That and spin class should keep me going!
Have a fantastic weekend!
Friday, 19 October 2012
WI back on track
Down 5.2 :D Did a big 'ol happy dance at that one. I couldn't stop smiling. Yes, it's the first week back, and I am not to expect losses like this to continue. But it was so nice to see that giant number and connect it to how well I was feeling and know that the feeling helped the loss. I want to keep that feeling.
I had a splurge meal tonight (Indian for my bf's last night in Canada till he leaves for Morocco for 3 weeks). Tomorrow will be my first real test...a weekend, and I'll be alone. That's two tests in one. I teach tomorrow, and normally I am STARVING when I finish. Most likely because I eat a hurried breakfast at like 8, then a small snack at 11 or so, so of course my tummy starts rebelling at 1:30 when I finish. I am very much a routine type of person when it comes to eating. Put that together with sadness and it's not a pretty picture.
But I am not going to let an empty house derail that feeling I had this week and that super charged feeling I had at WI today. What my bf's absence means is a true focus on myself. I can cook whatever I want (well, I do anyway, but even more so now), I can exercise and not have to worry about anyone else. I can basically just do my thing without having to think of anyone else for 3 weeks. That could be my silver lining to all of this. And yes, it will be a struggle because I know my triggers, but I have to learn to push that stuff aside and focus on what works. I'm going to say it again, it's all about that feeling I posted about yesterday. I can still feel it (slightly less now with a belly full of butter chicken and naan)...and it's a very powerful motivator.
So tomorrow I drop my bf at the airport at 5:00 pm. I'll probably be back home by 5:30 or so. My plan for tomorrow evening is to clean my house. Wooo, big Saturday night plans eh? But honestly, it's a disaster and I'll feel better about it if I just get it out of the way. I don't know if I'll exercise or not. I might do a JM dvd (which, btw, I just realised that I had posted about wanting to do the 30DS and finish it...totally forgot about it...doing other workouts now, so all is not lost :) )...no one will be home, so I don't have to be quiet.
Sunday the National Women's Show is in Toronto...thinking of maybe going to do that...but what I am also going to do is another version of my stair circuit workout. It's quick, it's killer, and I can change it up. This time I am going to do the booty workout from Tone It Up followed, or preceded by the stair circuit...just to beef up the stair workout a little bit, and because I want to do a butt workout at least 3x per week, because according to people in the know, do something like that 3x per week for at least a month and you start to see results...as I have never been consistent in my butt workouts, this has yet to be seen (by me anyway)....
That plus following my routine eating habits (no more splurges for me!) and I just might make it through the weekend unscathed!
I had a splurge meal tonight (Indian for my bf's last night in Canada till he leaves for Morocco for 3 weeks). Tomorrow will be my first real test...a weekend, and I'll be alone. That's two tests in one. I teach tomorrow, and normally I am STARVING when I finish. Most likely because I eat a hurried breakfast at like 8, then a small snack at 11 or so, so of course my tummy starts rebelling at 1:30 when I finish. I am very much a routine type of person when it comes to eating. Put that together with sadness and it's not a pretty picture.
But I am not going to let an empty house derail that feeling I had this week and that super charged feeling I had at WI today. What my bf's absence means is a true focus on myself. I can cook whatever I want (well, I do anyway, but even more so now), I can exercise and not have to worry about anyone else. I can basically just do my thing without having to think of anyone else for 3 weeks. That could be my silver lining to all of this. And yes, it will be a struggle because I know my triggers, but I have to learn to push that stuff aside and focus on what works. I'm going to say it again, it's all about that feeling I posted about yesterday. I can still feel it (slightly less now with a belly full of butter chicken and naan)...and it's a very powerful motivator.
So tomorrow I drop my bf at the airport at 5:00 pm. I'll probably be back home by 5:30 or so. My plan for tomorrow evening is to clean my house. Wooo, big Saturday night plans eh? But honestly, it's a disaster and I'll feel better about it if I just get it out of the way. I don't know if I'll exercise or not. I might do a JM dvd (which, btw, I just realised that I had posted about wanting to do the 30DS and finish it...totally forgot about it...doing other workouts now, so all is not lost :) )...no one will be home, so I don't have to be quiet.
Sunday the National Women's Show is in Toronto...thinking of maybe going to do that...but what I am also going to do is another version of my stair circuit workout. It's quick, it's killer, and I can change it up. This time I am going to do the booty workout from Tone It Up followed, or preceded by the stair circuit...just to beef up the stair workout a little bit, and because I want to do a butt workout at least 3x per week, because according to people in the know, do something like that 3x per week for at least a month and you start to see results...as I have never been consistent in my butt workouts, this has yet to be seen (by me anyway)....
That plus following my routine eating habits (no more splurges for me!) and I just might make it through the weekend unscathed!
Monday, 15 October 2012
I hurt and I was ok!
I did the following workout today: http://toneitup.com/blog.php?Stair-Blasting-Circuit-5596 from Tone It Up. I used the stairs in my building. The workout said to find stairs with about 50 steps...so I live on the 12th floor, and so I ran from the 12th to the 17th, feeling all virtuous till I remembered my building doesn't have a 13th or 14th floor! lol. But all in all it was about 3-4 floors per stair interval. My heart was pounding! You run your stairs, walk back, then do a toning move (burpees in a stair well anybody??) then stairs again, then toning move, etc., etc.
Wow is all I have to say. Over in about 15-20 minutes, legs burning, lungs burning (there was a lot of burning going on! lol). This is something I can do easily! Now that I know how much time it doesn't take, this would be a nice morning wake-up.
Part of my fitness fear has been about finding things I like. Running and I will never be besties...bootcamp, umm, nope (was ok when I first started out, but now I just get frustrated at the slow pace and standard moves), dvds, can only go through those so many times. I need booty busting workouts that I can do easily, and so I really love that site I stumbled upon. These are motivating and hard core and I am happy to say that I like doing them (only done 2 so far, so maybe I'm in the honeymoon phase), but part of my fear has been about trying new things. But I tried this workout, and I took on spinning (class tomorrow!) so I think I am finally finding what works.
I am a little concerned about my lung power. When I do intense cardio my bronchials BURN...like hurt so much I can feel it in my teeth (anyone else??)...I try to breath through my nose and that helps a bit, but I don't know if that's something I should get looked at, or if that's just because I let my lung health decline a bit by not going to the gym. I don't get faint or dizzy or anything, I can still breathe, but it hurts.
Anyway, very happy with myself today...stayed completely OP and I found a great workout. I also read an inspiring WW story from one of those weekly emails they send. The lady was a serial WW-er (ahem, like me), and I really liked her message about it all clicking for her. I'm not going to sit here and announce that I am never going off plan every again, cause hello set up for failure...but it's motivational nonetheless :)
Wow is all I have to say. Over in about 15-20 minutes, legs burning, lungs burning (there was a lot of burning going on! lol). This is something I can do easily! Now that I know how much time it doesn't take, this would be a nice morning wake-up.
Part of my fitness fear has been about finding things I like. Running and I will never be besties...bootcamp, umm, nope (was ok when I first started out, but now I just get frustrated at the slow pace and standard moves), dvds, can only go through those so many times. I need booty busting workouts that I can do easily, and so I really love that site I stumbled upon. These are motivating and hard core and I am happy to say that I like doing them (only done 2 so far, so maybe I'm in the honeymoon phase), but part of my fear has been about trying new things. But I tried this workout, and I took on spinning (class tomorrow!) so I think I am finally finding what works.
I am a little concerned about my lung power. When I do intense cardio my bronchials BURN...like hurt so much I can feel it in my teeth (anyone else??)...I try to breath through my nose and that helps a bit, but I don't know if that's something I should get looked at, or if that's just because I let my lung health decline a bit by not going to the gym. I don't get faint or dizzy or anything, I can still breathe, but it hurts.
Anyway, very happy with myself today...stayed completely OP and I found a great workout. I also read an inspiring WW story from one of those weekly emails they send. The lady was a serial WW-er (ahem, like me), and I really liked her message about it all clicking for her. I'm not going to sit here and announce that I am never going off plan every again, cause hello set up for failure...but it's motivational nonetheless :)
Friday, 12 October 2012
Update
So I didn't get my resistance workout in. Fear? No, I don't think so. I forgot about it until I was eating dinner and was like, crap! I was supposed to work out. Not cool. This clearly shows how little of an impact fitness has made on my life. Two months ago I wouldn't have forgotten to work out. However, I was avoiding going home before sun down because fasting people are cranky, but beside the point. When I was fully committed before this wouldn't have happened.
I'm not beating myself up about it, don't get me wrong. I found it kind of funny actually. What I took away from it is that it wasn't fear. I didn't talk myself out of working out...I just forgot to schedule it in. Scheduling it in is a lot easier than dealing with fear, so I am ok with that.
After I get home from teaching tomorrow I will do it. Because I have the whole afternoon and because it would be a really nice esteem booster.
My other update? Yes, I joined meetings again. There is a 9am that I can get to before work that is sort of on the way. It is predominantly older people, but I think that's the demographic that comes out to 9 am meetings :) It felt good to be back. The result on the scale was another story, but if someone ever needed a wake up call, it's me.
I tracked everything I ate today. Even though I went to Red Lobster for dinner as a treat for my bf. I tracked that as best I could, and as a result, on the very first day of my tracking week I am down to about 20 WPs. I also ate two cookies early today. But I marked them down. Fridays were normally when I'd stop tracking. Not this time. Me and weekends are going to have a conversation, and I am going to win.
So there are my updates. Tomorrow I will write about how successful my resistance workout was. Because it will be.
I'm not beating myself up about it, don't get me wrong. I found it kind of funny actually. What I took away from it is that it wasn't fear. I didn't talk myself out of working out...I just forgot to schedule it in. Scheduling it in is a lot easier than dealing with fear, so I am ok with that.
After I get home from teaching tomorrow I will do it. Because I have the whole afternoon and because it would be a really nice esteem booster.
My other update? Yes, I joined meetings again. There is a 9am that I can get to before work that is sort of on the way. It is predominantly older people, but I think that's the demographic that comes out to 9 am meetings :) It felt good to be back. The result on the scale was another story, but if someone ever needed a wake up call, it's me.
I tracked everything I ate today. Even though I went to Red Lobster for dinner as a treat for my bf. I tracked that as best I could, and as a result, on the very first day of my tracking week I am down to about 20 WPs. I also ate two cookies early today. But I marked them down. Fridays were normally when I'd stop tracking. Not this time. Me and weekends are going to have a conversation, and I am going to win.
So there are my updates. Tomorrow I will write about how successful my resistance workout was. Because it will be.
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
Not so scary
Yesterday I made the plan to go to spin class...and guess what? I actually went to spin class. It was hard. So hard. My legs were killing me. My breath was short. I felt like I weighed a tonne sitting on that bike. Really, mirrors in spin class are just mean. Anyway...I was also the biggest person in that room. That galled a bit. But as the demonic instructor was yelling at us I just focused on what I saw in the mirror. I focused on the bulge of my butt, the extra wide hips and I stared them down. I focused on them and just imagined that they were shrinking. That the pain and breathlessness were those heinous parts of me melting away. Gave me strength when I wanted to stop pedalling.
That was the hardest part. Getting in the door. Actually sucking it up and getting to the gym. I was scared. I admit that. There was total fear involved. I'm not proud of it. I don't feel like I totally conquered that fear. I feel better going to spin class. I'll go again next week, and I really want to go to the one the week after that since Goodlife is opening a brand new gym for that gym and the cycling room looks amazing. But I'm still scared of my resistance workouts. Scared to get into the gym and do what I did before. Scared for my back. Scared of how I look in the mirrors and what others may be thinking (though I realise this is in my head, but still...) Seeing how squishy I've gotten in the past 2 months. Not being able to use the amount of weight I did before. So many fears and self-doubts running around in my head.
I have tomorrow planned as my resistance day. Either at the gym in my condo, or at a Goodlife on the way home. It's a lower body workout. Lot of body weight exercises with speed burst cardio built in. I don't want to build up this huge program in my head and intimidate myself. I've done that before.
I can't psych myself out. I am my own worst enemy, and getting back into fitness is scary and hard for me. I'll update tomorrow on how it went.
In other news....I'm going to a WW meeting on Friday. I'm not even telling my bf. I don't need any negative reactions right now. I'm just pretending that I have to go early to work. I haven't been the biggest WW supporter in the last 2 years or so. But one of the main reasons I stopped going to meetings is because I didn't have one that I liked, and I can't do online...if you're capable of doing online, just use MFP...way better tracking system, and it's free. I was the most successful doing meetings. I've never replicated that on my own. Huh, guess all the research behind their product makes sense ;)
I am going to try. I was cleaning out my closet this past weekend and found my weight tracker from 2009. I was down to 139. Holy sh*t was all I could think. It was a real kick in the pants, eye opener, whatever cliched phrase you want to use. And I consistently went down each week. I went from 152 to 139 in about 7-8 weeks or so. Not too shabby.
Time to mark some papers and prepare for my weekend teaching gig...the fun never ends :)
That was the hardest part. Getting in the door. Actually sucking it up and getting to the gym. I was scared. I admit that. There was total fear involved. I'm not proud of it. I don't feel like I totally conquered that fear. I feel better going to spin class. I'll go again next week, and I really want to go to the one the week after that since Goodlife is opening a brand new gym for that gym and the cycling room looks amazing. But I'm still scared of my resistance workouts. Scared to get into the gym and do what I did before. Scared for my back. Scared of how I look in the mirrors and what others may be thinking (though I realise this is in my head, but still...) Seeing how squishy I've gotten in the past 2 months. Not being able to use the amount of weight I did before. So many fears and self-doubts running around in my head.
I have tomorrow planned as my resistance day. Either at the gym in my condo, or at a Goodlife on the way home. It's a lower body workout. Lot of body weight exercises with speed burst cardio built in. I don't want to build up this huge program in my head and intimidate myself. I've done that before.
I can't psych myself out. I am my own worst enemy, and getting back into fitness is scary and hard for me. I'll update tomorrow on how it went.
In other news....I'm going to a WW meeting on Friday. I'm not even telling my bf. I don't need any negative reactions right now. I'm just pretending that I have to go early to work. I haven't been the biggest WW supporter in the last 2 years or so. But one of the main reasons I stopped going to meetings is because I didn't have one that I liked, and I can't do online...if you're capable of doing online, just use MFP...way better tracking system, and it's free. I was the most successful doing meetings. I've never replicated that on my own. Huh, guess all the research behind their product makes sense ;)
I am going to try. I was cleaning out my closet this past weekend and found my weight tracker from 2009. I was down to 139. Holy sh*t was all I could think. It was a real kick in the pants, eye opener, whatever cliched phrase you want to use. And I consistently went down each week. I went from 152 to 139 in about 7-8 weeks or so. Not too shabby.
Time to mark some papers and prepare for my weekend teaching gig...the fun never ends :)
Saturday, 6 October 2012
Fitness Challenge...
I did fairly well on my goals this past week in terms of bringing my lunches to work. I did have take out chinese and thai food as well, but one or two meals are ok.
I didn't do well on my fitness goals. It's so hard to start things back up again. I was trying to analyse what I felt about that. And I think what I felt was fear. Fear of going back to spin class because holy hell is it hard (almost that same fear of doing it the first time). Fear of the pain that is sure to follow because I haven't done my workouts in about 2 months. Fear of once again getting to a good place and then letting it go again.
I have also thought a bit about my goals. I tend to make big goals. Maybe I am a baby goal person? I can't make monthly goals it appears, because I can't sustain it.
So part of my fitness fear is because prior to August I did hard core workouts. Big weights, whole lotta butt and leg stuff. I stopped that because I once again threw out my back and I just couldn't continue. Now that I am better I need to get back into the gym, or back into fitness (cause it doesn't have to be the gym). But I'm scared a little bit. Of the workouts I used to do. So I decided to make a smaller fitness goal for myself. I actually want to make it through the 30 Day Shred. I need to ease back into fitness, and 30 minutes a day seems an ok way to do that.
I'm not saying I'm going to do it 30 days straight, that's not feasible for me, so I am going to try for 5 days out of the week. I tend to get bored with the 30 DS, so that's why I want to try to get through each level in 10 days or so. What happens on the 30 DS is pretty easy (in terms of the moves), compared to what I had been doing, so something familiar and non-threatening.
I am going to start tomorrow. My bf and I have a Thanksgiving day brunch cruise around the Toronto harbour tomorrow...so what better day to start than on a day of a buffet and the day before turkey dinner?
I don't want a repeat of what happened in the Gap dressing room yesterday...disgust...anger...shame..sadness. I can't keep doing that. And I'm so sick of constantly making promises and goals and then having to renege or just fail. Kinda hurts the self esteem ;) I'm also thinking of going back to WW...meetings, not online. There's a meeting on Friday mornings that I could do before I go to work. I don't know how I feel about points plus...but it is quite apparent that I can't continue on my own.
Monday, 1 October 2012
Back to normal
Well, the inlaws left yesterday. After 3 months. My final thoughts? Mixed. Sometimes it felt very very long. Sometimes it felt like it flew by. It was not his parents. They are extremely nice people. My only issue was the break-up in my routine. The taking over of my house, my territory, etc., that was an issue. But overall, I was happy at how happy my boyfriend was when they were here. That outweighs the cons that I experienced.
So speaking of routine. People are generally creatures of habits, and the break in my routine and not having my "territory" (aka, my kitchen and my normal food routine) has my hips showing the strain. Also, note to self, don't buy pants one size too big. I got excited at the Gap cause a pair of their skinny jeans fit me. I didn't think ahead to when they got broken in and relaxed...so they're now too big for me. So I have a false sense of complacency that all is well in that department. All is not well. It's not really showing in my upper body, but my lower half feels so much heavier than it did two months ago. I did really well during Ramadan and before, but I fell apart after that.
So, as I partake in a fall cleanse of my apartment I am going to focus on getting back in routine and focusing on what's good for me.
I used to be really good at goals. I was a competitive rifle shooter for over 14 years. I could make and attain goals no problem. I was on the national team when I was 16 years old. I'm not completely certain why my weight and fitness goals are difficult.
I've been successful in my competitive history. Is that the difference? But I've also been successful in weight loss. I got to the point I am at right now and I've maintained. But I want more. So I will keep trying. I will never give up.
October Goals:
1) pack my own lunch to work
2) Spin class 1x/week
3) Resistance with integrated cardio 2x/week
4) Salad with every dinner and/or lunch
5) Weigh in once per week
Back to normal. Back to routine. Success will follow.
So speaking of routine. People are generally creatures of habits, and the break in my routine and not having my "territory" (aka, my kitchen and my normal food routine) has my hips showing the strain. Also, note to self, don't buy pants one size too big. I got excited at the Gap cause a pair of their skinny jeans fit me. I didn't think ahead to when they got broken in and relaxed...so they're now too big for me. So I have a false sense of complacency that all is well in that department. All is not well. It's not really showing in my upper body, but my lower half feels so much heavier than it did two months ago. I did really well during Ramadan and before, but I fell apart after that.
So, as I partake in a fall cleanse of my apartment I am going to focus on getting back in routine and focusing on what's good for me.
I used to be really good at goals. I was a competitive rifle shooter for over 14 years. I could make and attain goals no problem. I was on the national team when I was 16 years old. I'm not completely certain why my weight and fitness goals are difficult.
I've been successful in my competitive history. Is that the difference? But I've also been successful in weight loss. I got to the point I am at right now and I've maintained. But I want more. So I will keep trying. I will never give up.
October Goals:
1) pack my own lunch to work
2) Spin class 1x/week
3) Resistance with integrated cardio 2x/week
4) Salad with every dinner and/or lunch
5) Weigh in once per week
Back to normal. Back to routine. Success will follow.
Sunday, 12 August 2012
What's your take on...
Plastic surgery? Yes, no, maybe? I'm not a huge fan of the aging process (I got that 3-0 coming up in less than 6 months), but when it comes to my face and whatnot, I am not in favour of serious surgery. I'm not gonna stand on a soap box and say I'm never going to get injectables for wrinkles, but I'm also not going to think about it right now when I'm holding on pretty well. Some people I think start waaaaaay too early, then you're stuck with it for years and years. I'd rather do preventative action right now (good diet, good topical treatments), than be stuck on Juvederm or Botox form 30 onwards...that's not cool.
However, serious surgery for my face? No. No facelift or eye lifts or anything. I don't want to alter my appearance. I'm cute and happy with that, lol.
However, as with pretty much all girls, yes, there are some things I'd like to change. But this has more to do with my shape versus my appearance (don't know if those are different, but to me they are). Since losing my first batch of weight (30-40 lbs) I have turned from an hour glass to a pear. I am not a fan of pears. This means that I am no longer proportional. I am bottom heavy and I hate it. Ever since I was a kid I've been like this. It's really a losing battle considering my genetics. Take a look at my aunt's and cousins...you'll see the family resemblance. It's getting to the point that no matter how much I weigh, I'm going to look like a bloody pear. I also have excess skin from losing 40-ish pounds. That's a lot of jiggle going on down there.
So today, I went to see a noted plastic surgeon in Toronto about liposuction on my butt/thighs. Because no matter how much muscle I build, I still have these fat deposits that will not go away. I am seriously considering plastic surgery to change my shape. Because after 5 yrs of weight loss efforts I still don't look the way I want to. I have gotten so much healthier and I am really happy with that. But I also want my bottom to match my top. I have a 29 inch waist....with a 45 inch butt, and 25 inch thighs. This is so disproportionate and I am extremely unhappy with how I look on the bottom. I hate seeing myself without pants. With clothes on I am ok (minus the wideness). But as soon as I undress I am unhappy. I always turn my back to the mirror in my bedroom and undress with the lights off so that my bf can't see. Not that he hasn't seen me naked before, but I try to limit how often it happens. I hate that when I sit down it like pools around me. And that you can poke my butt and watch it jiggle. I can feel the muscle underneath, but I can't get rid of the extra layers on top of it.
I want to actually look how I feel. I feel small. I feel cute and pretty. I want to look the same way all over. So I went over everything with the doctor. He said he'd take fat from my inner thighs, and a little but from the outer (there's a bulge), and then love handles, and some from the bottom of my butt. He only takes 4 litres of fat maximum so as to not endanger his patients. He said I could expect to lose two inches from each thigh, and about 8lbs of fat. After 6 months or so if the extra skin didn't bounce back, then I could get a tightening treatment if I was unhappy. It's tempting. It's really really tempting. I told him that I am not so concerned with my weight overall. I know that lipo is not a weight loss treatment. It's contouring when you are at/near your goal weight. I'm at about 152 right now. I'd ideally like to be at 140 to even think of having the procedure. Get as small as possible then contour. That makes the most sense to me. So he advised me to work on the next 2-3 months on losing the extra 10 lbs or so, then come back for another consult.
Thoughts? Pro or con? I am obviously worried about the dangers involved in any surgery. I like how his clinic takes a moderate approach to lipo so as to limit the danger. There are doctors who take more fat at one time, but it increases the risks exponentially. I have read up on this doctor extensively, and he answered all of my questions. There was no push to do the procedure. He told me to wait and come back in a few months when I am closer. He was also very clear on what he could do for me and what the procedure wouldn't do. That's important so you don't have unrealistic expectations. Aside from the dangers, there is also of course the cost. $9600 including taxes. That's a lot of money. I could take a trip with that money. Pay down debt with that money. Save that money. Is it worth it to increase my self-esteem to spend almost $10,000?? I'm still wrestling with that one. Obviously it'd be on a payment plan. Probably around $300/month for 3 years. $383. Credit guy just called me. Maybe it'd be better to go through bank of bf....much lower interest, lol.
I'm not going to decide now. I'm going to get closer to goal and see what changes in my shape and what doesn't. I already do resistance and interval cardio, so it's not just that I've been neglecting one form of fitness. I honestly think that I was born like this, and if I'm going to change it, I'm going to need to do something fairly drastic.
What do you think? Would you consider it?
However, serious surgery for my face? No. No facelift or eye lifts or anything. I don't want to alter my appearance. I'm cute and happy with that, lol.
However, as with pretty much all girls, yes, there are some things I'd like to change. But this has more to do with my shape versus my appearance (don't know if those are different, but to me they are). Since losing my first batch of weight (30-40 lbs) I have turned from an hour glass to a pear. I am not a fan of pears. This means that I am no longer proportional. I am bottom heavy and I hate it. Ever since I was a kid I've been like this. It's really a losing battle considering my genetics. Take a look at my aunt's and cousins...you'll see the family resemblance. It's getting to the point that no matter how much I weigh, I'm going to look like a bloody pear. I also have excess skin from losing 40-ish pounds. That's a lot of jiggle going on down there.
So today, I went to see a noted plastic surgeon in Toronto about liposuction on my butt/thighs. Because no matter how much muscle I build, I still have these fat deposits that will not go away. I am seriously considering plastic surgery to change my shape. Because after 5 yrs of weight loss efforts I still don't look the way I want to. I have gotten so much healthier and I am really happy with that. But I also want my bottom to match my top. I have a 29 inch waist....with a 45 inch butt, and 25 inch thighs. This is so disproportionate and I am extremely unhappy with how I look on the bottom. I hate seeing myself without pants. With clothes on I am ok (minus the wideness). But as soon as I undress I am unhappy. I always turn my back to the mirror in my bedroom and undress with the lights off so that my bf can't see. Not that he hasn't seen me naked before, but I try to limit how often it happens. I hate that when I sit down it like pools around me. And that you can poke my butt and watch it jiggle. I can feel the muscle underneath, but I can't get rid of the extra layers on top of it.
I want to actually look how I feel. I feel small. I feel cute and pretty. I want to look the same way all over. So I went over everything with the doctor. He said he'd take fat from my inner thighs, and a little but from the outer (there's a bulge), and then love handles, and some from the bottom of my butt. He only takes 4 litres of fat maximum so as to not endanger his patients. He said I could expect to lose two inches from each thigh, and about 8lbs of fat. After 6 months or so if the extra skin didn't bounce back, then I could get a tightening treatment if I was unhappy. It's tempting. It's really really tempting. I told him that I am not so concerned with my weight overall. I know that lipo is not a weight loss treatment. It's contouring when you are at/near your goal weight. I'm at about 152 right now. I'd ideally like to be at 140 to even think of having the procedure. Get as small as possible then contour. That makes the most sense to me. So he advised me to work on the next 2-3 months on losing the extra 10 lbs or so, then come back for another consult.
Thoughts? Pro or con? I am obviously worried about the dangers involved in any surgery. I like how his clinic takes a moderate approach to lipo so as to limit the danger. There are doctors who take more fat at one time, but it increases the risks exponentially. I have read up on this doctor extensively, and he answered all of my questions. There was no push to do the procedure. He told me to wait and come back in a few months when I am closer. He was also very clear on what he could do for me and what the procedure wouldn't do. That's important so you don't have unrealistic expectations. Aside from the dangers, there is also of course the cost. $9600 including taxes. That's a lot of money. I could take a trip with that money. Pay down debt with that money. Save that money. Is it worth it to increase my self-esteem to spend almost $10,000?? I'm still wrestling with that one. Obviously it'd be on a payment plan. Probably around $300/month for 3 years. $383. Credit guy just called me. Maybe it'd be better to go through bank of bf....much lower interest, lol.
I'm not going to decide now. I'm going to get closer to goal and see what changes in my shape and what doesn't. I already do resistance and interval cardio, so it's not just that I've been neglecting one form of fitness. I honestly think that I was born like this, and if I'm going to change it, I'm going to need to do something fairly drastic.
What do you think? Would you consider it?
Friday, 10 August 2012
WI Time
Now that I am no longer seething in rage (though I try not to think about it or I'll relapse), I can post my WI. I'm down 0.2. No I was not happy. But I'll take it as down being down.
I also did something else today. I didn't declare Friday my "cheat" day. I let it be as a normal day, and while I did have a treat at lunch, that was it. No full blown meal. Nothing to go crazy about. Let's see if I can keep it going throughout the rest of the weekend.
As for what happened as per my last post. My bf came home and was righteously angry on my behalf. He himself said that his brother is banned from our home, although I don't know how much credit I'm going to give that. I asked what possible excuse his brother had for going into my email and he said it happened "by accident". Ya, accident that you stumbled upon that exact email? No you bastard...you searched through it. I don't even know if I left my email open. Now, it being my computer, I'm pretty much always signed in. He said that he went to check his email and accidentally got into mine. That's perfectly understandable. It's happened to me a lot too. But you know what you don't do? You don't then just start going through the effing messages. You sign out and sign into your own damn account. Asshole. Oops, getting mad again.
I also told my bf that I am more than willing to take him and his parents out for Eid al-Fitr next week (celebrating the end of Ramadan). I had already offered it. But I also said that I will only go if it's just the four of us. I will not, absolutely will not, go if that ass is going to be there. That could pose a problem since Eid is a huge family thing. Because his parents don't know that he's no longer allowed back here, or really any of the story, if they ask if he's coming, it's going to be pretty hard to explain why not. Basically my bf can make a choice. Celebrate Eid with me and his parents, or with his brother and his parents. I'm not fussy. I just won't be there if his brother is (since I offered to pay for it, it kinda saves me $100 anyway, lol). My bf tends to agree with what I say at first, then changes his mind, or "forgets" as the date gets closer. But I'm not budging. I don't give a rat's ass if I ever see him again.
Anyway...time for dinner...I know I'm not fasting, but man I hate eating dinner at 8:30 at night!! 1 more week!
I also did something else today. I didn't declare Friday my "cheat" day. I let it be as a normal day, and while I did have a treat at lunch, that was it. No full blown meal. Nothing to go crazy about. Let's see if I can keep it going throughout the rest of the weekend.
As for what happened as per my last post. My bf came home and was righteously angry on my behalf. He himself said that his brother is banned from our home, although I don't know how much credit I'm going to give that. I asked what possible excuse his brother had for going into my email and he said it happened "by accident". Ya, accident that you stumbled upon that exact email? No you bastard...you searched through it. I don't even know if I left my email open. Now, it being my computer, I'm pretty much always signed in. He said that he went to check his email and accidentally got into mine. That's perfectly understandable. It's happened to me a lot too. But you know what you don't do? You don't then just start going through the effing messages. You sign out and sign into your own damn account. Asshole. Oops, getting mad again.
I also told my bf that I am more than willing to take him and his parents out for Eid al-Fitr next week (celebrating the end of Ramadan). I had already offered it. But I also said that I will only go if it's just the four of us. I will not, absolutely will not, go if that ass is going to be there. That could pose a problem since Eid is a huge family thing. Because his parents don't know that he's no longer allowed back here, or really any of the story, if they ask if he's coming, it's going to be pretty hard to explain why not. Basically my bf can make a choice. Celebrate Eid with me and his parents, or with his brother and his parents. I'm not fussy. I just won't be there if his brother is (since I offered to pay for it, it kinda saves me $100 anyway, lol). My bf tends to agree with what I say at first, then changes his mind, or "forgets" as the date gets closer. But I'm not budging. I don't give a rat's ass if I ever see him again.
Anyway...time for dinner...I know I'm not fasting, but man I hate eating dinner at 8:30 at night!! 1 more week!
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
My one true foe...
Weekends. *sigh* I hate weekends. Minus the sleeping in and not going to work thing I really don't like them. I hate the break in routine. I hate the festival/special occasion feel of them. I hate the uncontrolled eating that derails my entire effing week. Not a fan. Now, this is not new. A lot of "lifestyle change" people dislike weekends for the very same reasons I do. Even my mom doesn't like weekends and she doesn't work, so there's not too much routine to break there. Every day's a weekend for her, lol.
I really don't know how to handle weekends. I'm starting to think I should move my WI to mid-week (it's currently Friday). Because after weighing in I do have a sort of "holiday" feeling where I think, oh I can have that cheat meal now, and that cheat meal turns into 3 days. I plan any outings with friends on Fridays, which only perpetuates the problem. I am a believer in having a splurge meal once a week. Otherwise I think you'll go crazy. And that's kinda how I start to feel by Friday...kinda tired of the grind of watching everything that goes into my mouth and wanting that "treat". But, and here's the kicker here, I can't stop it at that one meal. One meal a week is fine. But I can't stop after that one meal. It starts an avalanche that lasts all bloody weekend, and then on Monday (or Tuesday with the whole long weekend thing this past weekend), I'm back to playing catch up. My weight loss is slower as a result. I eat really well during the week. Exactly what I plan. Occasionally having to be very insistant with my in-laws who insist I eat with them during their late Ramadan meals (they use bread as a fork...no joke...fine for fasting people, but not so good for a bottom heavy carb lover at 1:00 am!) But otherwise I'm pretty good Monday-mid Friday. Then I go AWOL. I know that I'd go down faster if I could conquer this.
I really like where I'm at fitness wise. I'm making a huge concerted effort to work out and to work out hard. Spin 1-2x/week, bootcamp 2x/week, resistance/cardio 1-2x per week. That's amazing for me and I look forward to it. But all of that is moot if I don't keep my eating under control from Friday night to Sunday night. It gets all undone and it's so frustrating.
How does one create a routine on the weekend? Because if you can manage a semblance of a routine I think it would break the "holiday" feeling. Nothing kills the mood like routine, lol. With Ramadan it's been hard, cause I try to be out of the house a lot and sometimes it's hard to pack things with me. I don't know if I'd be disrespectful by openly preparing my food in the morning. I usually go to the gym for a couple hours on Saturday to get out of my house. But again, if I hit up the food court and get a poutine afterwards, what the heck's the point?? My next step is to prepare things like my protein shakes and stuff at night when it's less noticeable and freeze them for the next day. Sheesh, by the time I get a routine Ramadan will be over and I'll be back at square one!
One thing I have been doing is in my snacks. I pack very protein fibre rich snacks so that I'm not tempted into diving into the bread once I get home. I also don't snack at work on bad things, which I am quite proud of. But again, that's during the week. During the weekends I have a lot more trouble because I'm surrounded by poor options. I know that I am the one that decides what goes into my body. I'm not blaming eating poutine on anybody but myself. But what I really want is a coping mechanism for the weekends.
I think I have to take away that element of "treating" myself. I normally plan a meal or something on Friday, and I think I need to remove that expectation. I'm not sure how to do this without feeling deprived. Unless I use a scale like what has been mentioned on the WW boards. It's got to be a 10/10 on the desire scale. If I could live without it, then meh, let it go. I need to stop planning these treats. I have a "go big or go home mentality", so when I plan a cheat meal, boy am I ever cheating! I think last week it was 4 cheese fettuccini alfredo (I made it myself, but still), with garlic bread and chocolate ice cream for dessert. Anything worth doing is worth doing well eh? Take away the plan and the expectation drops. This could be the one time where not planning could aid in weight loss. It so very often goes the other way, lol. This past week was Red Lobster. Le sigh. So I am taking that expectation away and I will plan instead to make a better choice with whatever I am up against. I will also prepare as much as my food ahead of time so I can stash it in my gym bag on Saturday and Sunday.
If I can make a routine, this will go a lot easier, on myself mentally as well as my waist line!
I really don't know how to handle weekends. I'm starting to think I should move my WI to mid-week (it's currently Friday). Because after weighing in I do have a sort of "holiday" feeling where I think, oh I can have that cheat meal now, and that cheat meal turns into 3 days. I plan any outings with friends on Fridays, which only perpetuates the problem. I am a believer in having a splurge meal once a week. Otherwise I think you'll go crazy. And that's kinda how I start to feel by Friday...kinda tired of the grind of watching everything that goes into my mouth and wanting that "treat". But, and here's the kicker here, I can't stop it at that one meal. One meal a week is fine. But I can't stop after that one meal. It starts an avalanche that lasts all bloody weekend, and then on Monday (or Tuesday with the whole long weekend thing this past weekend), I'm back to playing catch up. My weight loss is slower as a result. I eat really well during the week. Exactly what I plan. Occasionally having to be very insistant with my in-laws who insist I eat with them during their late Ramadan meals (they use bread as a fork...no joke...fine for fasting people, but not so good for a bottom heavy carb lover at 1:00 am!) But otherwise I'm pretty good Monday-mid Friday. Then I go AWOL. I know that I'd go down faster if I could conquer this.
I really like where I'm at fitness wise. I'm making a huge concerted effort to work out and to work out hard. Spin 1-2x/week, bootcamp 2x/week, resistance/cardio 1-2x per week. That's amazing for me and I look forward to it. But all of that is moot if I don't keep my eating under control from Friday night to Sunday night. It gets all undone and it's so frustrating.
How does one create a routine on the weekend? Because if you can manage a semblance of a routine I think it would break the "holiday" feeling. Nothing kills the mood like routine, lol. With Ramadan it's been hard, cause I try to be out of the house a lot and sometimes it's hard to pack things with me. I don't know if I'd be disrespectful by openly preparing my food in the morning. I usually go to the gym for a couple hours on Saturday to get out of my house. But again, if I hit up the food court and get a poutine afterwards, what the heck's the point?? My next step is to prepare things like my protein shakes and stuff at night when it's less noticeable and freeze them for the next day. Sheesh, by the time I get a routine Ramadan will be over and I'll be back at square one!
One thing I have been doing is in my snacks. I pack very protein fibre rich snacks so that I'm not tempted into diving into the bread once I get home. I also don't snack at work on bad things, which I am quite proud of. But again, that's during the week. During the weekends I have a lot more trouble because I'm surrounded by poor options. I know that I am the one that decides what goes into my body. I'm not blaming eating poutine on anybody but myself. But what I really want is a coping mechanism for the weekends.
I think I have to take away that element of "treating" myself. I normally plan a meal or something on Friday, and I think I need to remove that expectation. I'm not sure how to do this without feeling deprived. Unless I use a scale like what has been mentioned on the WW boards. It's got to be a 10/10 on the desire scale. If I could live without it, then meh, let it go. I need to stop planning these treats. I have a "go big or go home mentality", so when I plan a cheat meal, boy am I ever cheating! I think last week it was 4 cheese fettuccini alfredo (I made it myself, but still), with garlic bread and chocolate ice cream for dessert. Anything worth doing is worth doing well eh? Take away the plan and the expectation drops. This could be the one time where not planning could aid in weight loss. It so very often goes the other way, lol. This past week was Red Lobster. Le sigh. So I am taking that expectation away and I will plan instead to make a better choice with whatever I am up against. I will also prepare as much as my food ahead of time so I can stash it in my gym bag on Saturday and Sunday.
If I can make a routine, this will go a lot easier, on myself mentally as well as my waist line!
Sunday, 22 July 2012
It's that time of year again...
This is my 4th Ramadan. Gets better every year. No I do not fast, but I have a lot of emotional issues tied with Ramadan. Seriously, the first year, my bf and I had been dating for about 6 months and he's like, so in about a week I'm not going to be able to see you for 30 days. I was like, what now? He said, ya, Ramadan is coming and I fast from sun up to sun down. I laughed. I'm not going to lie, I totally laughed. I thought he was joking! Then I had to google it and found out that in Islam they fast for a frickin month every year. News to me. What was also news to me is that during daylight hours, there is absolutely no touching between members of the opposite sex. He even wanted to go as far as just not see me for that month. After looking into it I argued back that it says touching...I can go without touching for 12 hours when we're together (once Iftar, or breaking of the fast, happens, you can touch again). So I didn't get banished for 30 days. But he slept in the living room. For fear of cuddling me after sunrise while he was still asleep. Believe me, on a single bed that's difficult!
And the whole no touching thing?? Ya, totally harder than expected. You try it. You try going an entire day without touching the person you're with. See how hard it is. No hand holding, no brushing away a piece of hair, and definitely no kissing or anything of that sort (and DEFINITELY no, ahem, you know). Now when you think about it, usually the only time you abstain from touching is when you're fighting. To me it felt like 30 days of fighting. No affection. No intimacy. It was really difficult. Since that first Ramadan he's mellowed a bit. He'll even hug me during the day. He'll allow me to kiss the top of his head (that's the way that Moroccan parents and children kiss each other). He'll allow me to scratch his back. To just be able to touch him is a big comfort for me. He'll even now briefly touch me during the day. Nothing sexual, just affection. Took 4 years to get to this point, but I'll take it. The emotional issues I alluded to before come with this feeling of isolation and lack of intimacy and affection that comes with Ramadan. But, I've gotten better, and he's gotten better, so it doesn't feel so bad this year.
Except...in one area. Because his parents are here, apparently he is adhering to ALL of the rules of Ramadan. Now, I don't know if this is a rule of Ramadan, cause honestly I think it's a rule of Islam in general, but he's just choosing to follow it more strictly during Ramadan than he obviously does during the rest of the year. This has to do with the behind closed doors intimacy (or, you know, in a public space if you're into that). In previous Ramadans, once Iftar happens, it's fair game. We hold hands, we kiss, etc. etc. (emphasis on the etc., cause apparently I'm a prude, lol). But this year? Yes, kissing and hand holding fine, but he WON'T put out! Apparently I am now celibate for the next, let's see, 28 days? News flash to me. If I had known that, I wouldn't have brushed him off the last night before Ramadan started, lol. I thought it would be like previous years. His parents like to walk around after dinner, so that's really the only time we have to be "together". But I tried last night and he shot me down. It's Ramadan he said. Since when has that stopped us before? To be honest, I'm gonna see how long this lasts. In our first Ramadan he tried this as well. He lasted a week. I didn't initiate anything. I can respect his beliefs, so I'm not going to go after it. He came to me. So we'll see. In the meantime, I think this is gonna be a much longer 30 days than I anticipated!
On the health side of things. Because I can't eat in front of them, I have no choice but to pack my snacks and stuff and take them with me when I go places. Then I can't snack at home. I'm also calling the gym my second home, because that's where I'll be until Iftar every night. Yesterday I was able to be out of the house for 7 hours. Couple of those at the gym, the other few shopping for a baby gift for my best friend. Right now I'm fricking hungry and thinking of how I can smuggle my protein shake into my bedroom, lol. They're napping right now, so I think I should jump on the opportunity! Here's hoping this has the effect I hope it will on my weight loss!
And the whole no touching thing?? Ya, totally harder than expected. You try it. You try going an entire day without touching the person you're with. See how hard it is. No hand holding, no brushing away a piece of hair, and definitely no kissing or anything of that sort (and DEFINITELY no, ahem, you know). Now when you think about it, usually the only time you abstain from touching is when you're fighting. To me it felt like 30 days of fighting. No affection. No intimacy. It was really difficult. Since that first Ramadan he's mellowed a bit. He'll even hug me during the day. He'll allow me to kiss the top of his head (that's the way that Moroccan parents and children kiss each other). He'll allow me to scratch his back. To just be able to touch him is a big comfort for me. He'll even now briefly touch me during the day. Nothing sexual, just affection. Took 4 years to get to this point, but I'll take it. The emotional issues I alluded to before come with this feeling of isolation and lack of intimacy and affection that comes with Ramadan. But, I've gotten better, and he's gotten better, so it doesn't feel so bad this year.
Except...in one area. Because his parents are here, apparently he is adhering to ALL of the rules of Ramadan. Now, I don't know if this is a rule of Ramadan, cause honestly I think it's a rule of Islam in general, but he's just choosing to follow it more strictly during Ramadan than he obviously does during the rest of the year. This has to do with the behind closed doors intimacy (or, you know, in a public space if you're into that). In previous Ramadans, once Iftar happens, it's fair game. We hold hands, we kiss, etc. etc. (emphasis on the etc., cause apparently I'm a prude, lol). But this year? Yes, kissing and hand holding fine, but he WON'T put out! Apparently I am now celibate for the next, let's see, 28 days? News flash to me. If I had known that, I wouldn't have brushed him off the last night before Ramadan started, lol. I thought it would be like previous years. His parents like to walk around after dinner, so that's really the only time we have to be "together". But I tried last night and he shot me down. It's Ramadan he said. Since when has that stopped us before? To be honest, I'm gonna see how long this lasts. In our first Ramadan he tried this as well. He lasted a week. I didn't initiate anything. I can respect his beliefs, so I'm not going to go after it. He came to me. So we'll see. In the meantime, I think this is gonna be a much longer 30 days than I anticipated!
On the health side of things. Because I can't eat in front of them, I have no choice but to pack my snacks and stuff and take them with me when I go places. Then I can't snack at home. I'm also calling the gym my second home, because that's where I'll be until Iftar every night. Yesterday I was able to be out of the house for 7 hours. Couple of those at the gym, the other few shopping for a baby gift for my best friend. Right now I'm fricking hungry and thinking of how I can smuggle my protein shake into my bedroom, lol. They're napping right now, so I think I should jump on the opportunity! Here's hoping this has the effect I hope it will on my weight loss!
Monday, 9 July 2012
Been awhile...
It's been awhile since I've posted. That normally means I've been off-track. And truthfully, I have. Feel kind of bad considering my last post. The one good thing that's come out of this is that my in-laws arrived and it's really not as bad as I was imagining. However, it's only been two weeks out of 3 months and there's still Ramadan to contend with.
In an update on my running...I think I'm not cut out for long distance running. I don't like it. Short distances are ok. Sprinting intervals are ok. But distances? Nope, don't like them. For a long time now I've wanted to do some sort of kickboxing/boxing thing. That and spinning. I'm still trying to adapt to my new schedule. I finish work at 5:30, with a 40 minute commute, and not one of my gym's locations is "on the way". I'd have to go slightly out of my way. That's dangerous for me. I'm still looking for a form of exercise that I truly truly enjoy. I thought that it would be running. Not so much. I don't actually mind running on the treadmill. When I am constant with it, I quite enjoy it. But running outside? I never really got the love of that. And I have a beautiful area to run in. Right on the lake. But I don't like it.
My next step is to find something I do enjoy. Next stop is spinning at my gym. Anyone try this? Like it? Wanna come and join me at the Goodlife at Yonge/Bloor?? lol.
Nutrition is the only thing I'm doing ok on. Quite sensible except for my snacks. I've been so busy dealing with marauding Moroccan inlaws that I haven't done my traditional weekly plan and shop and my snacks (and therefore me) are paying for it. I think they've been too small because by the time I get home I'm STARVING and therefore any plan to workout are thrown out the window as I try to eat as soon as humanly possible. NEED to go grocery shopping so I have some fibre rich, protein packed, healthy snacks so I don't come home and tear into a french baguette (on the elevator trip) I impulse bought from Sobeys. This is also necessary if I'm going to be going slightly out of my way to hit the gym before work. Seeing how Ramadan starts next week, I see no better time to avoid cranky fasters by hitting the gym.
Doing versus trying is back on track!
In an update on my running...I think I'm not cut out for long distance running. I don't like it. Short distances are ok. Sprinting intervals are ok. But distances? Nope, don't like them. For a long time now I've wanted to do some sort of kickboxing/boxing thing. That and spinning. I'm still trying to adapt to my new schedule. I finish work at 5:30, with a 40 minute commute, and not one of my gym's locations is "on the way". I'd have to go slightly out of my way. That's dangerous for me. I'm still looking for a form of exercise that I truly truly enjoy. I thought that it would be running. Not so much. I don't actually mind running on the treadmill. When I am constant with it, I quite enjoy it. But running outside? I never really got the love of that. And I have a beautiful area to run in. Right on the lake. But I don't like it.
My next step is to find something I do enjoy. Next stop is spinning at my gym. Anyone try this? Like it? Wanna come and join me at the Goodlife at Yonge/Bloor?? lol.
Nutrition is the only thing I'm doing ok on. Quite sensible except for my snacks. I've been so busy dealing with marauding Moroccan inlaws that I haven't done my traditional weekly plan and shop and my snacks (and therefore me) are paying for it. I think they've been too small because by the time I get home I'm STARVING and therefore any plan to workout are thrown out the window as I try to eat as soon as humanly possible. NEED to go grocery shopping so I have some fibre rich, protein packed, healthy snacks so I don't come home and tear into a french baguette (on the elevator trip) I impulse bought from Sobeys. This is also necessary if I'm going to be going slightly out of my way to hit the gym before work. Seeing how Ramadan starts next week, I see no better time to avoid cranky fasters by hitting the gym.
Doing versus trying is back on track!
Saturday, 2 June 2012
Trying vs. Doing
I've thought about this before, when I was worried my intensity wasn't high enough. Now I think I'm just not doing enough. I think I am coasting. I ran twice this week. I plan on going tomorrow, but that's three times. I am getting back to my 10K training. I ran an easy 2 miles a couple days ago, and I'm going to try for 2.5 tomorrow to get back on my schedule. But there I go again...I'm going to "try"...why not, "I'm going to do 2.5 tomorrow"? My PT sessions start again Monday, so that's good. Gets me back on track with interval/strength training.
I think it's my runs that I need to amp up. I think I need to add in some speed work, sprints etc., because one thing I do notice already is my body getting used to the distances. I know that straight cardio is not the answer to weight loss, and I think I have this huge fear of plateauing due to my decision to try distance running. But then I think "hey, I'm working out 5 days a week, I'm doing enough"...but it's about working smarter right? Or perhaps in this case it is about working harder. At this moment my runs only equal about 30 minutes of cardio. I think I need to add more interval training into that. My PT sessions normally focus on my lower half, but there are lots of things you can do without overworking your muscles. I'm thinking of looking into yoga. With my back issues I think strength and stretching would be really beneficial. I also really want to do a bootcamp but just haven't been able to afford it. If I do PT, running, yoga, and potentially bootcamp is that too much, or just enough? I just keep going back to the fact that after my runs, ya I'm winded, but I'm not destroyed. This will probably change the closer I get to 10K. But for now, it feels easy.
So I'm thinking that I need to double up some days. Run in the morning, PT at night; yoga in the evening, bootcamp/intervals in the morning etc. I am looking for that magical mixture of activity that will help me push past my limits and get where I want to be.
Going back to my title...I always say "try"...I'm going to "try" to go to the gym, I'm going to "try" to do 2.5 miles, I'm going to "try" to clean up my nutrition. It's time to just "do". Commit and focus, sacrifice where needed. I get a lot of inspiration from Alice over at Mommy Blog. She's got kids and still does everything from scratch and works out like crazy. Her post about food and not wanting her kids to eat at McDonald's really got to me. If someone who has a husband, two kids, amazing weight loss goals, and is going back to work soon can still work out like that, and cook everything from scratch, then why the heck can't I? There is no reason. I work 9-5. I have a demanding bf, not gonna lie, lol, but other than work and him and my small condo that I am essentially responsible for my life is not that stressful. It's not like before when I worked 3 jobs and was NEVER home. The only thing stopping me is my own apathy and that's pathetic.
I have the luxury of having a PT, of being able to do yoga and bootcamp (thank you new job), of being able to buy nutritious food, and of having the time to do everything from workout to eat properly. What I'm hampered with is my whining. "Oh it's hard, it takes too much time", "I just want a poutine!" Is a poutine really more important than reaching my goal? In the moment sometimes it is, lol. But overall, no it's not. This journey takes a certain amount of sacrifice. Between that and my illusion that I am working as hard as I can is what stops me every time.
So despite the fact that I have like a 100 special occasions coming up in the next few weeks (co-worker leaving next week, then my departure the week after), I am going to stop "trying" and start "doing". My goal for June is that. To actually push past my level and to stop my whining. And whenever I notice that I am slipping into whining (cause let's be honest, I should have a coping mechanism cause it's gonna happen), I will remind myself why I'm doing this:
1) To be healthy
2) To be the size (not necessarily weight) that I want
3) To bring back my self esteem
4) To prove that I can
I am going to find a yoga centre, or maybe even look in to the bodyflow classes at my gym cause $$ is still kinda tight. I am going to do everything my trainer tells me to do sans bitchy attitude. I am going to commit to eating healthy and continue to find healthy recipes that work for me so that I am satisfied with what I am eating. Because June is about "doing" and I am tired of just "trying".
I think it's my runs that I need to amp up. I think I need to add in some speed work, sprints etc., because one thing I do notice already is my body getting used to the distances. I know that straight cardio is not the answer to weight loss, and I think I have this huge fear of plateauing due to my decision to try distance running. But then I think "hey, I'm working out 5 days a week, I'm doing enough"...but it's about working smarter right? Or perhaps in this case it is about working harder. At this moment my runs only equal about 30 minutes of cardio. I think I need to add more interval training into that. My PT sessions normally focus on my lower half, but there are lots of things you can do without overworking your muscles. I'm thinking of looking into yoga. With my back issues I think strength and stretching would be really beneficial. I also really want to do a bootcamp but just haven't been able to afford it. If I do PT, running, yoga, and potentially bootcamp is that too much, or just enough? I just keep going back to the fact that after my runs, ya I'm winded, but I'm not destroyed. This will probably change the closer I get to 10K. But for now, it feels easy.
So I'm thinking that I need to double up some days. Run in the morning, PT at night; yoga in the evening, bootcamp/intervals in the morning etc. I am looking for that magical mixture of activity that will help me push past my limits and get where I want to be.
Going back to my title...I always say "try"...I'm going to "try" to go to the gym, I'm going to "try" to do 2.5 miles, I'm going to "try" to clean up my nutrition. It's time to just "do". Commit and focus, sacrifice where needed. I get a lot of inspiration from Alice over at Mommy Blog. She's got kids and still does everything from scratch and works out like crazy. Her post about food and not wanting her kids to eat at McDonald's really got to me. If someone who has a husband, two kids, amazing weight loss goals, and is going back to work soon can still work out like that, and cook everything from scratch, then why the heck can't I? There is no reason. I work 9-5. I have a demanding bf, not gonna lie, lol, but other than work and him and my small condo that I am essentially responsible for my life is not that stressful. It's not like before when I worked 3 jobs and was NEVER home. The only thing stopping me is my own apathy and that's pathetic.
I have the luxury of having a PT, of being able to do yoga and bootcamp (thank you new job), of being able to buy nutritious food, and of having the time to do everything from workout to eat properly. What I'm hampered with is my whining. "Oh it's hard, it takes too much time", "I just want a poutine!" Is a poutine really more important than reaching my goal? In the moment sometimes it is, lol. But overall, no it's not. This journey takes a certain amount of sacrifice. Between that and my illusion that I am working as hard as I can is what stops me every time.
So despite the fact that I have like a 100 special occasions coming up in the next few weeks (co-worker leaving next week, then my departure the week after), I am going to stop "trying" and start "doing". My goal for June is that. To actually push past my level and to stop my whining. And whenever I notice that I am slipping into whining (cause let's be honest, I should have a coping mechanism cause it's gonna happen), I will remind myself why I'm doing this:
1) To be healthy
2) To be the size (not necessarily weight) that I want
3) To bring back my self esteem
4) To prove that I can
I am going to find a yoga centre, or maybe even look in to the bodyflow classes at my gym cause $$ is still kinda tight. I am going to do everything my trainer tells me to do sans bitchy attitude. I am going to commit to eating healthy and continue to find healthy recipes that work for me so that I am satisfied with what I am eating. Because June is about "doing" and I am tired of just "trying".
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
10K Training
I started last week, but this week I took it outdoors. Yesterday morning I hit the pavement at 7:15 am and did about 3.5 km (turned out to actually be 4.0 km cause a road my map told me was a road turned out not to be a road and I had to go further than anticipated). My census? Outdoor running is hard! lol. Felt like I was pushing against something the entire time. I have also determined that traffic lights are my best friends! Can't run across 4 lanes of traffic! lol. But I'm very happy that I did it, and that it wasn't as scary as I thought. I was also keeping a pace of about 7:00 - 7:30 mins per km. If it wasn't for the walking at one point (after I had reached my distance goal) and one really long traffic light I would have kept it at that, by my mapmyran app told me I finished with an 8:00 min km.
There is one concerning factor of having a pace of 7:00-ish mins per km....it means times that by 10, and you have my time for the 10K. That seems like a really really long time to be running. I have no interest in marathons or half marathons. 10-15 km is probably the most I'll do. So right now I'm kinda worried about running for 60+ minutes. Since I'm just going for distance right now, I don't know how reasonable it is to expect my pace to pick up. Not sure how to do that. Is that what tempo runs do? I'll figure it out.
My leg hurts pretty bad. I have some pretty bad pain. Not while I'm running. But definitely after. I got some volturen gel, which is pretty much like ibuprofen for external use. I like that idea better than popping pills. I tried it today and it actually works. I'm also looking into how to strengthen my calves so that I can build up the muscle and it won't hurt so much.
Now my mind is torn about an outdoor run tomorrow morning, or an evening run indoors. It was really nice to be outside. It was beautiful yesterday. I'm thinking of 2 runs outdoors and 1 indoors per week. I also felt a really big sense of accomplishment in a) being out at 7 am, and b) actually finishing (including a hill I stupidly put in at the end!)
Let's see what my alarm clock tells me tomorrow :)
There is one concerning factor of having a pace of 7:00-ish mins per km....it means times that by 10, and you have my time for the 10K. That seems like a really really long time to be running. I have no interest in marathons or half marathons. 10-15 km is probably the most I'll do. So right now I'm kinda worried about running for 60+ minutes. Since I'm just going for distance right now, I don't know how reasonable it is to expect my pace to pick up. Not sure how to do that. Is that what tempo runs do? I'll figure it out.
My leg hurts pretty bad. I have some pretty bad pain. Not while I'm running. But definitely after. I got some volturen gel, which is pretty much like ibuprofen for external use. I like that idea better than popping pills. I tried it today and it actually works. I'm also looking into how to strengthen my calves so that I can build up the muscle and it won't hurt so much.
Now my mind is torn about an outdoor run tomorrow morning, or an evening run indoors. It was really nice to be outside. It was beautiful yesterday. I'm thinking of 2 runs outdoors and 1 indoors per week. I also felt a really big sense of accomplishment in a) being out at 7 am, and b) actually finishing (including a hill I stupidly put in at the end!)
Let's see what my alarm clock tells me tomorrow :)
Friday, 11 May 2012
WI
Down 0.8. I was kind of expecting more. Apparently I don't learn from my mistakes, cause I peeked on Wednesday and I was down to 151. I know that it's dangerous. Because I was expecting at least that today. But no...then I was disappointed. But, that's the second loss in a row, so I seem to be back on track.
Did my second run for the week. 1.5 miles (2.4 km) in 17 minutes. Felt pretty good. The last 0.5 mile I had some issues with focus. There was this girl in front of my on a stationary bike, and her head was directly in my line of vision. My usual focal point at the gym is beyond her head and I couldn't see it, lol. I focused on the tv, but that involves lifting your head a little bit. I prefer to stare straight ahead. But all in all it was good. Did it straight without stopping.
My eating today was atrocious and I'm not even gonna feel guilty about it. As long as I am back on track tomorrow, one day won't kill me. I had a turkey bacon with egg on a bagel with chocolate milk, two oatmeal cookies (one chocolate chip, one raisin), lays classic potato chips, rice cakes with peanut butter, and as soon as the bf stops playing PS3, we're going to Jack Astor's :) I've been looking forward to this dinner all week, so I'm excited.
Tomorrow I think I'm going to go to the farmer's market, load up on fresh good things and plan out my week. Less eating out is needed.
My final run this week is on Sunday. 2 miles (3.2 km). It's my last run indoors before moving outside. My shoes seem to be fine. I still have shin splints tho :( They came back with a vengeance today. There's a spot about mid-way up my calf to the side of my shin bone that hurts to the touch. I don't really know what to do about it since I don't want to stop training. Does icing it really work? What about those topical creams or rubs? When it was like this before it hurt to walk the next day, so that's not good. I don't want to severely injure myself, but I'm not really sure what to do about it.
I'm also excited for the weekend. This is my first all to myself weekend. Nothing planned. And it's supposed to be beautiful! I think we're going to do the farmer's market, then a picnic on the Toronto Islands. Sunday, who knows, but I'm definitely going to relax and enjoy it :)
In an interview update. I got an email yesterday confirming that I was still in the selection process, but that I was free to contact the manager directly if I should wish to discuss the position further. I was a little bit confused. So I called her and left a message. Then today she called me back and it was really just to go over the position in more detail, but the final decision hasn't been made yet. However, she did tell me that the hiring committee was very impressed with my background and experience, especially considering that I haven't been in my career field for very long (going on 4 yrs). She said they were impressed with my accomplishments in such a short period of time. So I'm hoping that means they're leaning toward me. I have to wait for the reference check to go through and then I guess I'll hear next week. I'd hate to quit my current job right now because it's right before our busy season and I really don't like leaving people in the lurch like that. However, if they treated me right and paid me what I am worth, I wouldn't be going on interviews in the first place.
Time for dinner...have a great weekend!!
Did my second run for the week. 1.5 miles (2.4 km) in 17 minutes. Felt pretty good. The last 0.5 mile I had some issues with focus. There was this girl in front of my on a stationary bike, and her head was directly in my line of vision. My usual focal point at the gym is beyond her head and I couldn't see it, lol. I focused on the tv, but that involves lifting your head a little bit. I prefer to stare straight ahead. But all in all it was good. Did it straight without stopping.
My eating today was atrocious and I'm not even gonna feel guilty about it. As long as I am back on track tomorrow, one day won't kill me. I had a turkey bacon with egg on a bagel with chocolate milk, two oatmeal cookies (one chocolate chip, one raisin), lays classic potato chips, rice cakes with peanut butter, and as soon as the bf stops playing PS3, we're going to Jack Astor's :) I've been looking forward to this dinner all week, so I'm excited.
Tomorrow I think I'm going to go to the farmer's market, load up on fresh good things and plan out my week. Less eating out is needed.
My final run this week is on Sunday. 2 miles (3.2 km). It's my last run indoors before moving outside. My shoes seem to be fine. I still have shin splints tho :( They came back with a vengeance today. There's a spot about mid-way up my calf to the side of my shin bone that hurts to the touch. I don't really know what to do about it since I don't want to stop training. Does icing it really work? What about those topical creams or rubs? When it was like this before it hurt to walk the next day, so that's not good. I don't want to severely injure myself, but I'm not really sure what to do about it.
I'm also excited for the weekend. This is my first all to myself weekend. Nothing planned. And it's supposed to be beautiful! I think we're going to do the farmer's market, then a picnic on the Toronto Islands. Sunday, who knows, but I'm definitely going to relax and enjoy it :)
In an interview update. I got an email yesterday confirming that I was still in the selection process, but that I was free to contact the manager directly if I should wish to discuss the position further. I was a little bit confused. So I called her and left a message. Then today she called me back and it was really just to go over the position in more detail, but the final decision hasn't been made yet. However, she did tell me that the hiring committee was very impressed with my background and experience, especially considering that I haven't been in my career field for very long (going on 4 yrs). She said they were impressed with my accomplishments in such a short period of time. So I'm hoping that means they're leaning toward me. I have to wait for the reference check to go through and then I guess I'll hear next week. I'd hate to quit my current job right now because it's right before our busy season and I really don't like leaving people in the lurch like that. However, if they treated me right and paid me what I am worth, I wouldn't be going on interviews in the first place.
Time for dinner...have a great weekend!!
Monday, 7 May 2012
Gettin' ma groove back
There's nothing like a competition like situation to get you rearing to go. I used to love competing. I was good at it. So it's kinda cool to have a piece of that back now. Tomorrow I start my 10K training. Tomorrow I also have a trainer appt...which means it's a double workout day. But I really wanted to start the 10K training this week. So I have a 1.5 mile run tomorrow which I will do inside cause I'm still test driving my new runners. My plan is to set up a different program for the warm up and run because I have a problem with including my warm up in the workout because then the pacing is skewed (it looks like I've run farther than I have). Bit tedious but whatever.
My plan is 3 days of running with 2 cross training (strength essentially). It's basically what I have been doing, but on a slightly more intense level. That and a more structured nutrition plan (including protein shakes and more green leafy things!)
Glad to have shed my funk and ready to get going!
My plan is 3 days of running with 2 cross training (strength essentially). It's basically what I have been doing, but on a slightly more intense level. That and a more structured nutrition plan (including protein shakes and more green leafy things!)
Glad to have shed my funk and ready to get going!
Thursday, 3 May 2012
Nearing the end
Of my 3 month commitment with my personal trainer. I really couldn't afford her the first time, and I definitely can't afford a renewal. And I'm not even sure I would renew. In the beginning, let's say the first 6 weeks, it was great. But after I hurt my back and had some limitations I felt that she just kinda checked out. Stopped checking in with me on my off days, and I got 2 at home workouts in the entire 12 weeks. I personally would have thought that the amount of money paid for this I would have gotten more than 2 at home workouts. Then there's this attitude in the workouts. And honestly, I don't like it. Today I was going through mountain climbers (I hate mountain climbers) and she kept pushing (but let me make it clear that it wasn't positive pushing, it had a rough angle to it that I didn't like) and she kept saying "go! you ate crap, you have to get that crap out!" Uh, when did I say I ate nothing but crap?? I said I had a rough time on Saturday and Sunday, but it wasn't even close to how bad my eating was in the past. I just kinda had bigger portions of some things like carbs and salt. That does not equate yelling at me during mountain climbers. And I stopped and told her that. Not cool.
It's like as soon as I started to struggle, she checked out. wtf? Isn't that when I need her the most?? And today when I told her that I was getting frickin tired of trying so hard, tired of being healthy (like I usually am at this point, like 3-4 months in), all she said was "gotta control the mind". Uh, ok...sure, I'll get right on that. Good advice. I know I need to control my mind! But perhaps I need external motivation and support to help me. That's what I was looking for.
See, this is my pattern...I am gung ho for about 3 months-ish...then I falter and I start to wear down and lose my motivation. That's why I got a personal trainer, to get me past that point. I'm just not sure it's working. It doesn't matter regardless. Even if I was 100% sure about everything, I can't afford to renew. So I will have to go back to doing it on my own. I have a lot of resources at my disposal, and maybe I need to work out my own demons by myself.
It's like as soon as I started to struggle, she checked out. wtf? Isn't that when I need her the most?? And today when I told her that I was getting frickin tired of trying so hard, tired of being healthy (like I usually am at this point, like 3-4 months in), all she said was "gotta control the mind". Uh, ok...sure, I'll get right on that. Good advice. I know I need to control my mind! But perhaps I need external motivation and support to help me. That's what I was looking for.
See, this is my pattern...I am gung ho for about 3 months-ish...then I falter and I start to wear down and lose my motivation. That's why I got a personal trainer, to get me past that point. I'm just not sure it's working. It doesn't matter regardless. Even if I was 100% sure about everything, I can't afford to renew. So I will have to go back to doing it on my own. I have a lot of resources at my disposal, and maybe I need to work out my own demons by myself.
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