Back!

From Vegas that is! It was great. Lots of fun. Not as much food as I was expecting (which was good!) but not the healthiest options. We did a lot of great stuff...highlight was the helicopter tour to the Grand Canyon. Amazing. We also did the Hoover Dam, saw some shows, and did a lot of walking. It was HOT. omg. But not southern Ontario hot with all of it's stupid humidity. It was a nice dry heat. Great trip.

When I got back my back was still hurting. So I took it easy. Today it was feeling better so I went for a 1.5 mile run. God I hate coming back to running after being away from it. How does 1 week make so much difference?? I struggled to get to that 1.5 miles. Sigh. Oh well. Wednesday we go again. Hopefully a morning run if the heat is ok. I don't do humid muggy running. But mornings through June should still be ok. It's just July and August that are concerning. My plan for tomorrow is to take a circuit from my Jillian Michael's Hot Bod in a Box and do a strength interval workout. It's killer. I recommend it to anyone. Wednesday running again, Thursday strength intervals, Friday running, then Saturday or Sunday surprise :)

Can't rest on those proverbial laurels. As I was heading out of work today I moaned to my co-worker, "I don't want to go to the gym!" She was like "don't! Walk with me to Union instead!" But I replied "no, if not today, then when?" It's so important for me to buck my usual trend and actually get back on track on the first available day. Today was the day. If I didn't go today, I know that I would have made an excuse for tomorrow, then Wednesday, Thursday, etc. Nevermind sliding down that slope, I'd be barreling down headfirst straight into a poutine.

My main concern is to get my 10K training back on track. I've got a race to run in a month and a half. I want to be prepared. I also really want to lose my ass. Running builds strong legs right? Somebody please tell me that running helps shape up the lower half?? Sigh. That's my only rant today :)

From other aspects of life, I'm waiting for my offer package from GB. Not offer letter, but offer PACKAGE. It's being UPS'd...it's too big to send in the regular mail. Seriously?? What's in that thing?? My acceptance to university seems to be less complicated. I am anxiously anxiously waiting for that package. Then maybe it'll feel real.

Time to relax a bit, then bed :)

Big News

Two pieces of news today. Number 1, I beat my alarm clock (or my alarm clock beat me? not sure)...anyway, I was up at 6:30 and out the door at 7:00 for my second outdoor run. It was cold. Thankful for my long sleeves that's for sure. Finished 3.6 km in 26 mins, so a 7:03 p/km pace. That's pretty good IMO. Told my bf, and he's like, ya, my pace is 4 minutes. Great, thanks. Eff off, lol. Yes, he can do 5K in about 20 mins the bastard. But oh well. I think it's in his blood to run, hehe. Felt my shin the entire time. Not outright pain. More like a pressure. Could definitely tell it wasn't right. Other than that, I only stopped at stop lights, and even ran the big hill leading back to my condo. If I can get the damn shin splints gone, this won't be half bad :) I ended up going to the clinic today to see if I could get a referral to a sports med (after 45 mins of waiting, turns out you can self-refer yourself to a sports clinic, go figure). The dr is sending me for x-rays and an ultrasound anyway, just in case. Not that I think I have an actual injury, but she wants to rule it out. Then we'll go from there.

In other news.....I got a call today from George Brown College and was formally offered the position I interviewed for last week. Major excitement! I was jumping up and down outside of my work, lol. I was also shaking...like shivering. Badly. I shake when I get nervous, or shiver rather. Even more so cause it was kinda chilly. Then as I was in the middle of the call, I see my regional director come out for his smoke break. Dear lord...freaked me out. I have to give notice and I'm really really not looking forward to it. I'm such a bloody people pleaser that I hate the thought of letting someone down. Hate it. Knowing that we're mere weeks away from our busy season has the guilt on high that I am leaving my school in the lurch. But aside from that I was so excited :) Nice sizeable jump in my salary (aka, actually getting paid what I'm worth professionally based on my experience and education), and to be at a college is amazing. One of Canada's top 100 employers. I don't know if I'll be able to handle working for an organisation who actually gives its employees the tools they need to be successful. Might take some getting used to :P

I'm excited for the new opportunity and for the chance to take my career even further. It'd be great to have two of Toronto's top colleges on my resume. I want to keep my teaching position at Humber because I think eventually that's where I want to be (teaching, not necessarily Humber). It's going to be amazing to have this level of experience on my resume for the future.

Big day for me :) Except I think the shivering/shaking during the phone call/cold did something to my back. Ever since then it's frickin hurt. My back issues have been chronicled here before. It comes and goes. But I'm starting to get really worried. If something as simple as shivering could send me into spasms, perhaps something really is wrong?? Back to the dr I think. But this time a sports med, cause that's where this stems from. Can't be right that I have chronic low back pain, and so much more now than I've ever had before. I can only think that it's because I'm exercising so much more. But the last time I was in an exercise regiment the pain went away when I lost weight. Something I have to look into.

Have a great Thursday!

10K Training

I started last week, but this week I took it outdoors. Yesterday morning I hit the pavement at 7:15 am and did about 3.5 km (turned out to actually be 4.0 km cause a road my map told me was a road turned out not to be a road and I had to go further than anticipated). My census? Outdoor running is hard! lol. Felt like I was pushing against something the entire time. I have also determined that traffic lights are my best friends! Can't run across 4 lanes of traffic! lol. But I'm very happy that I did it, and that it wasn't as scary as I thought. I was also keeping a pace of about 7:00 - 7:30 mins per km. If it wasn't for the walking at one point (after I had reached my distance goal) and one really long traffic light I would have kept it at that, by my mapmyran app told me I finished with an 8:00 min km.

There is one concerning factor of having a pace of 7:00-ish mins per km....it means times that by 10, and you have my time for the 10K. That seems like a really really long time to be running. I have no interest in marathons or half marathons. 10-15 km is probably the most I'll do. So right now I'm kinda worried about running for 60+ minutes. Since I'm just going for distance right now, I don't know how reasonable it is to expect my pace to pick up. Not sure how to do that. Is that what tempo runs do? I'll figure it out.

My leg hurts pretty bad. I have some pretty bad pain. Not while I'm running. But definitely after. I got some volturen gel, which is pretty much like ibuprofen for external use. I like that idea better than popping pills. I tried it today and it actually works. I'm also looking into how to strengthen my calves so that I can build up the muscle and it won't hurt so much.

Now my mind is torn about an outdoor run tomorrow morning, or an evening run indoors. It was really nice to be outside. It was beautiful yesterday. I'm thinking of 2 runs outdoors and 1 indoors per week. I also felt a really big sense of accomplishment in a) being out at 7 am, and b) actually finishing (including a hill I stupidly put in at the end!)

Let's see what my alarm clock tells me tomorrow :)

WI

Down 0.8. I was kind of expecting more. Apparently I don't learn from my mistakes, cause I peeked on Wednesday and I was down to 151. I know that it's dangerous. Because I was expecting at least that today. But no...then I was disappointed. But, that's the second loss in a row, so I seem to be back on track.

Did my second run for the week. 1.5 miles (2.4 km) in 17 minutes. Felt pretty good. The last 0.5 mile I had some issues with focus. There was this girl in front of my on a stationary bike, and her head was directly in my line of vision. My usual focal point at the gym is beyond her head and I couldn't see it, lol. I focused on the tv, but that involves lifting your head a little bit. I prefer to stare straight ahead. But all in all it was good. Did it straight without stopping.

My eating today was atrocious and I'm not even gonna feel guilty about it. As long as I am back on track tomorrow, one day won't kill me. I had a turkey bacon with egg on a bagel with chocolate milk, two oatmeal cookies (one chocolate chip, one raisin), lays classic potato chips, rice cakes with peanut butter, and as soon as the bf stops playing PS3, we're going to Jack Astor's :) I've been looking forward to this dinner all week, so I'm excited.

Tomorrow I think I'm going to go to the farmer's market, load up on fresh good things and plan out my week. Less eating out is needed.

My final run this week is on Sunday. 2 miles (3.2 km). It's my last run indoors before moving outside. My shoes seem to be fine. I still have shin splints tho :( They came back with a vengeance today. There's a spot about mid-way up my calf to the side of my shin bone that hurts to the touch. I don't really know what to do about it since I don't want to stop training. Does icing it really work? What about those topical creams or rubs? When it was like this before it hurt to walk the next day, so that's not good. I don't want to severely injure myself, but I'm not really sure what to do about it.

I'm also excited for the weekend. This is my first all to myself weekend. Nothing planned. And it's supposed to be beautiful! I think we're going to do the farmer's market, then a picnic on the Toronto Islands. Sunday, who knows, but I'm definitely going to relax and enjoy it :)

In an interview update. I got an email yesterday confirming that I was still in the selection process, but that I was free to contact the manager directly if I should wish to discuss the position further. I was a little bit confused. So I called her and left a message. Then today she called me back and it was really just to go over the position in more detail, but the final decision hasn't been made yet. However, she did tell me that the hiring committee was very impressed with my background and experience, especially considering that I haven't been in my career field for very long (going on 4 yrs). She said they were impressed with my accomplishments in such a short period of time. So I'm hoping that means they're leaning toward me. I have to wait for the reference check to go through and then I guess I'll hear next week. I'd hate to quit my current job right now because it's right before our busy season and I really don't like leaving people in the lurch like that. However, if they treated me right and paid me what I am worth, I wouldn't be going on interviews in the first place.

Time for dinner...have a great weekend!!

1.5 miles down!

First day of 10K training done! It was ok. Slightly less than I had been doing. I'm doing it again tomorrow. I don't think you're supposed to run back to back (not 100% sure), but my "long" run (in this week, 2 miles) is on Sunday, and I want to use Saturday as my rest day.

I'm still on the treadmill. Today was my first running day with my new shoes. They felt pretty good. I'm gonna finish my week out on the treadmill and then head outside if all feels good. Nutrition wise I've been good. No major slips. I had pizza on Tuesday, but I was within my calories and it was only 2 small slices of the chicken lovers from Pizza Hut. I'm not going to lie, I'm expecting a good loss tomorrow. I've been chugging my water, watching my sodium and sugar and hope that the number goes down.

In other news, I had a job interview this week for a top college in Toronto. I really want the position. I'd be perfect for it, and it's more money than I am currently making. I made it to the second round and I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. If I did get it, I could continue my personal training and get a handle on my debt. So it's been a very stressful week. I don't know when I'm going to hear back, but I really hope it's soon! I have to give 4 weeks notice (it's in my contract), so I'd really like to give it sooner than later (really hope I'm not jinxing this!!!) Cross your fingers for me!

Gotta make dinner. This was a double workout day for me so I'm getting pretty hungry. Have a great Thursday!

Gettin' ma groove back

There's nothing like a competition like situation to get you rearing to go. I used to love competing. I was good at it. So it's kinda cool to have a piece of that back now. Tomorrow I start my 10K training. Tomorrow I also have a trainer appt...which means it's a double workout day. But I really wanted to start the 10K training this week. So I have a 1.5 mile run tomorrow which I will do inside cause I'm still test driving my new runners. My plan is to set up a different program for the warm up and run because I have a problem with including my warm up in the workout because then the pacing is skewed (it looks like I've run farther than I have). Bit tedious but whatever.

My plan is 3 days of running with 2 cross training (strength essentially). It's basically what I have been doing, but on a slightly more intense level. That and a more structured nutrition plan (including protein shakes and more green leafy things!)

Glad to have shed my funk and ready to get going!

Race Breakdown

So I made it through the 5K. Proud of myself. I did have to stop. A lot. Much much more than I anticipated/wanted. I had this idea that I could do it without stopping. I probably could have if I had ran more consistently in the past 3 weeks or so. But with developing shin splints about a month ago because my shoes were worn out I had to resort to other forms of cardio because it was just too damn painful. I got new shoes, but they too hurt my feet. So I didn't get as much running in as I would have liked. A month ago I did 5K (on the treadmill but still) without stopping. So I knew I could do it. It just didn't happen this time. That's ok. I'm gonna do the Scotiabank Waterfront Marathon 5K in October and I'm going to do it without stopping.

My time was 35:58 (bib time, which I count as my official time). I was 152/364 in my category, and 555/1300-ish in my gender. So I was above the 50% mark which I was pretty stoked about. I sprinted to the end, lol. It was a beautiful day to run along Toronto's waterfront. My two friends I ran with both beat me but I don't frickin care, lol.

So that's the good stuff. The bad stuff...the race (with 3000 5K participants, who knows how many half and full marathoners) was baaaaaaadly organised. All the 5K ppl were wandering around asking where the start was. The directions on the web site were abysmal. We had no idea where we were going, there was no signage at all. But we finally made it to the start. Second, they didn't use the corral system the way that the Scotiabank Waterfront 5K does (you line up according to your pace). Now, the Scotiabank one has 6000 5K runners, but still, 3000 is a pretty decent number of people to have them jammed in willy nilly. Let the fast people stand at the front, I don't care. I don't want to be the one who hinders a speedy gonzales just because I happened to line up before him/her. Third, there were no race markers. The only race markers were at 3 and 4K. I am goal oriented. I NEED to know how far I've come and how far there is left to go. I know it's only 5K, but please have markers for each km. I don't know if this is just me. But personally I need it for pacing. I don't want to go all out if I have 4 bloody km to go. I also want to know if I can afford to walk at this moment or if I should push through it. That was friggin annoying. But the piece de resistance? THERE WAS NO WATER on the course!!! NONE! You know what there was? A water table set up at about 3.5 km with people with HOSES and those plastic milk jugs (the ones that usually hold the milk bags)...uh, what am I supposed to do with that? Again, I realise that this is not a huge distance, but there were kids and older people doing that run. It was also pretty warm, full beating sun since we started at 12:00 pm. To not have water is beyond comprehensible. It appears that they ran out of cups or something. Inexcusable in my opinion. I just kept going. I didn't want a frickin hose, I just wanted a cup of water. When I finally saw the finish line I gunned it...felt like my legs were gonna fly right off, lol. Got my medal and picture, and tried to find water. Was it in the tent with the bagels and fruit? Nope. Was it in the tent with the chocolate milk? Nope. It was set way off in the corner with about a million people between me and the water table. Not cool. Apparently some people were really pissed off. I was too, to be honest (ahem, in case you couldn't tell).

So running wise it was good for me (besides the too much walking)...but the organisation sucked. I kind of expect more when I pay $50 for a race. My next task is a 10K train run in July. I'm starting the training on Tuesday. Inside cause I'm still trying out shoes and if I wear them outside I can't take them back. My biggest challenge is that I am going to Vegas on the May long weekend. I'm not worried about when I am there...I am worried for when I get back. It's always so hard to get back at it following a vacation.

Time for bed...it's been a loooong day :) Time for some rest.

Internal Motivation

What's yours? I'm on a mission to find mine. At least mine that lasts longer than 3 months. Have you ever watched the tv show X-Weighted? On it there is a weight loss goal as well as a fitness goal. I think the fitness goal is almost as important as the weight loss goal since we all know that focusing just on the numbers can get pretty damn frustrating. So I have chosen a fitness goal. My friend, who I usually run my races with (and by "usually" I mean the grand total of TWO that I have ever done (or will have done by tomorrow afternoon, lol) asked me if I wanted to do a 10K in August along the Grand River. Having barely done 5K before, I was skeptical. I "struggle" with 5K. And I put struggle in " " cause I think it's mainly mental. A big ol' game of "omg, I've never done this before so I can't consistently do it now" But why the hell can't I do 10K? I'm gonna make myself into a runner if it kills me. This is the one thing that I have never truly given up on. I always come back to it. Even when I am "off" so to speak, I always start again by coming back to running. Can't say that about other forms of cardio. I also love resistance training, but that's beside the point right now.

So I googled (love google) 10K training programs. Armed with an 8 week program and mapmyrun.com (cause I so can't afford a Garmin or similar right now) I am going to start training for 10K this week. This is my fitness goal. I haven't concretely found the website for the run, but I *think* it's this one: http://guelphvictors.ca/display.php?page=Fergus cause my friend mentioned lunch and swimming at her parents' house afterwards (I think she was trying to bribe me, lol), and I think they live in Cambridge. So Fergus would be close. On a bonus, if this is the one, I can go to the Scottish highland games! lol. (dad's side of the family came over from Scotland in the 1800s...it's in my blood).

The training program starts with 1.5 miles (2.4 ish km) which I can already do. I've been doing about 2ish miles already, steady state, so 1.5 shouldn't be a problem. The other big news? I'm gonna do it outside. I am going to do all of my training (minus the brutally hot days and potentially rainy days, ew) outside. I have a course all mapped out for Tuesday and I'm excited.

I want something tangible I can focus on. Not the fluctuation frustration of the scale. Maybe this can be the internal motivation that I need? I want to focus on my fitness. Building my muscle, increasing my cardio endurance. I'm not going to stop weighing in, but I will have more of a focus on the other things. I need to find what works for me otherwise I'm never going to make it.

Nearing the end

Of my 3 month commitment with my personal trainer. I really couldn't afford her the first time, and I definitely can't afford a renewal. And I'm not even sure I would renew. In the beginning, let's say the first 6 weeks, it was great. But after I hurt my back and had some limitations I felt that she just kinda checked out. Stopped checking in with me on my off days, and I got 2 at home workouts in the entire 12 weeks. I personally would have thought that the amount of money paid for this I would have gotten more than 2 at home workouts. Then there's this attitude in the workouts. And honestly, I don't like it. Today I was going through mountain climbers (I hate mountain climbers) and she kept pushing (but let me make it clear that it wasn't positive pushing, it had a rough angle to it that I didn't like) and she kept saying "go! you ate crap, you have to get that crap out!" Uh, when did I say I ate nothing but crap?? I said I had a rough time on Saturday and Sunday, but it wasn't even close to how bad my eating was in the past. I just kinda had bigger portions of some things like carbs and salt. That does not equate yelling at me during mountain climbers. And I stopped and told her that. Not cool.

It's like as soon as I started to struggle, she checked out. wtf? Isn't that when I need her the most?? And today when I told her that I was getting frickin tired of trying so hard, tired of being healthy (like I usually am at this point, like 3-4 months in), all she said was "gotta control the mind". Uh, ok...sure, I'll get right on that. Good advice. I know I need to control my mind! But perhaps I need external motivation and support to help me. That's what I was looking for.

See, this is my pattern...I am gung ho for about 3 months-ish...then I falter and I start to wear down and lose my motivation. That's why I got a personal trainer, to get me past that point. I'm just not sure it's working. It doesn't matter regardless. Even if I was 100% sure about everything, I can't afford to renew. So I will have to go back to doing it on my own. I have a lot of resources at my disposal, and maybe I need to work out my own demons by myself.