Lobster Red is Not my Colour

Had a fantastic weekend. Yesterday I relaxed, loafing around the apartment, and then bf and I went to a going away bbq for one of my amazing students who is going back to Korea in a few days :( This is the hard part about my line of work...international students always end up going back home! I need to work with immigrants, at least they're sticking around for a while! Had a great time catching up with past students who I haven't seen since I left my last school. I miss them...they are great people :)

As for my food choices....welllll, still haven't learned how to navigate a bbq. Had too many tortilla chips, and a cupcake, but when it came down to dinner, I had a very small portion of potato salad, pasta salad, greek salad, and one hot dog. That and 2 cookies and half of a real coke. Not great...but trust me, it coulda been worse!

Today the bf and I made the 1.5 hour trek (holy crap btw) to Wild Water Kingdom just north of Toronto in Brampton. It was 40 degrees today, so we decided to fork over the $30 and spend the day at the water park...worth it? Not sure. I think they could have more rides, since by the time 1 or 2 pm rolled around (we got there at about 10:30), it was crazy busy and you're waiting 30 mins to go down one slide. They are touted as "Canada's largest water park"...not sure that's true...I'm from BC, any other BC'ers out there remember the water parks in Victoria and on the mainland? Swear they were bigger. But that could be childhood making it seem that way :) We still had a really good time (minus the fight at the beginning when we almost ended up going the wrong way on Brampton transit and being told that Google lied to us about the easiest way to get to the damn place!) Got burnt to a crisp. I am white like paper, no joke...5+ hours in 40 degree weather..there is not enough sunscreen in the world to protect me from that. But I will admit my own stupidity in only applying it once, right before we headed in, not remembering that the stuff is less effective with multiple plunges into water! But hey, in my defense, even my Moroccan got burnt...Mr. I-don't-need-sunscreen-I'm-from-Morocco...sheesh ;)

Ate water park food. I am going to track it...just as I am going to track yesterday's bbq. At least I had my regularly scheduled dinner, running out to the my bbq just in time before the frickin' cedar plank caught on fire! I'm in a condo in downtown Toronto...I'm not supposed to have a bbq in my balcony...now I know why! lol

I also worked out yesterday morning. I woke up just before 10. Ate a banana and half of a herbal magic protein bar, laced up and did Couch to 5K week 1, day 3. Since I've had my running epiphany and I run a little bit slower now, I am going to try and actually finish the program. I am also going to TRY and get up tomorrow morning and do my next resistance workout for Tommy Europe's 10 lb Shred. Awesome workouts, but I HATE 6 am! lol. I need to change my mind set. I am going to try telling myself that I GET to wake up early and work out, not that I HAVE to get up early and work out. I have been avidly reading Amie's "Running on Healthy" blog and she is such a motivation. Amazing work ethic, and thus amazing results! It's all in the mindset :)

Have a great week!!

Meals Planned and On Track

I actually have a free hour in my otherwise stupidly busy week, so I sat down and looked through my Eat Shrink & Be Merry cookbook and set up my dinners and lunches starting from Sunday to Friday. My schedule is a little crazy. I work full time until 4:30, and then Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I work again from usually 5:30 or 6 until 9, getting home between 9 and 9:30. So I am out of the house from 7:45am  until 9-ish. Makes it hard on the planning front because I am really bad at taking my WHOLE day's worth of food with me in the morning. I usually bring breakfast and lunch, and snacks, but I seem to have difficulty packing dinner as well.

So this week I made a concerted effort to plan meals that I could use as leftovers or were cold because my second job doesn't have a microwave. We'll see how it goes.

On the exercise front, I did work out this week, go me, lol :) The only way I can work out M-W is to do it in the morning, and that is proving incredibly difficult to do. Anybody else have extreme difficulty getting up at 6 am to work out??? I do. I used to do it...not sure how I managed. So, I need to work out at least 2 or three times from Thursday to Sunday. I hate working out on the weekends, but it's better than getting up at 6 am :)

So my meal plan next week is:

Sunday: Cedar plank salmon with corn and veg (trying to cut down on the starch, so no baked potato)
Monday: Lunch - Leftovers; Dinner - greek salad
Tuesday: Lunch - greek salad with some type of protein; Dinner - roasted red pepper and basil pesto angel hair pasta
Wednesday: Lunch - leftovers; Dinner - Subway roasted chicken sub
Thursday: Lunch - not 100% sure, as I won't be cooking the night before; Dinner - tuna casserole
Friday: Lunch - leftovers; Dinner - margherita pizza

Good thing I like leftovers, lol. With the right portion sizes and proper planning, I think it will work. Just need to buy the groceries for it. I always seem to run out of time on the weekend...*sigh* there never seems to be enough time, does there?

On the bf front, all is well :) Just waiting for him to come home so we can go out for our dinner and a movie date :)

Have a great weekend!

Reality is hard...

Really hard. I face reality for a lil bit, then I hide my head back in the sand and pretend it's all good. This last part of the week has sucked. My bf and I have hit a rocky patch...it's like we can't go three days without fighting. Case in point? The Saturday before last we fought...when did we speak again? Last Wednesday. Then we were good. The long weekend was awesome. Then Sunday...we fought. When did we speak again? Actually, I think later that night, but still. Then this Wednesday...we fought...when did we speak again? Will update when that actually takes place...*sigh* Now he's away for the whole weekend and I'm sad :(

Weight loss wise? Well, I'm down. I got sick a few weeks back and I am JUST getting over it. That and with working two jobs, it is HARD to stay on track. I don't seem to have the time to go grocery shopping, nevermind exercise, or plan meals. I need to take the time, but from M-W I leave my house at 745 and I get home at 9pm. That's hard to plan for. However...loads of people are busy. I am not so special that my busyness is busier than other people's. I think I'm just lazy. I work so hard during the week that come the weekend I don't want to work at anything that takes, well, work. Yet, if I don't have time during the early week, I must make things work later in the week. I want to be at goal!! Why am I wasting so much time and money on this frickin goal and then not following through??? If anyone has the answer, by all means, drop me a line.

Well, this post isn't that insightful...but I'm melancholy (such a great word) and all emo tonight with the bf situation and me home alone and just feeling sad :( Hopefully tomorrow brings better feelings

New week

Today was interesting. I've been on HM for a week now. It's not bad. Definitely more restrictive than WW...I thought I would be ok with that, but it is a little bit of struggle. The good news is that I am waaay more conscious of what I eat than I was before, the bad news? I can still justify those bites and nibbles that are off program. I'm learning.

Saturday was ok. Food wise it was good, bf-wise it was amazing :) My Moroccan came home! I was so excited. I got all dressed up, hair and make up, and picked him up at the airport. Then he proceeded to sleep for like 15 hours, lol. But I stuck to my food plan, more or less. I will admit I had a couple cookies from the home made molasses crinkle cookies I had made for my students for a school picnic the day before. I didn't exercise. But I was ok with food. Sunday....well, Sunday, with bf fully awake and it being such a beautiful day in Toronto, we had a picnic on Toronto Island. A picnic with roasted chicken, bread, artichoke and asiago dip, strawberries, blueberries, and Moroccan cookies. Not bad really, but I just had too much of the not so good things.

Back to today. I'm at work. I eat my breakfast (oatmeal with a tsp of maple syrup, 1/2 cup skim milk). About 15-30 minutes after eating I realise I need to take my vitamins (HM mandated)...I take them. About 10 minutes after I take them I start to feel sick. This continues for like an hour, maybe, before I had to bolt to the bathroom where I threw up. I'm pretty sure it was the supplements. I've had this happen before when I've taken vitamins on an empty stomach, but this wasn't on an empty stomach. I visited HM today and of course she said it wasn't the supplements. Whatever, it's not like I had unknown food...oatmeal and milk and maple syrup...nothing really sick worthy there. So I knew it was the vitamins that just didn't agree with me this morning.

On another note...when I went for my first HM consultation, I got a really great girl. She was enthusiastic, offered lots of suggestions, and made me feel taken care of. Today I had the branch manager (I think it's her franchise or something)...I could tell that she just wanted to get me out of there. It wasn't a great feeling. She didn't really look at my food journal, and she didn't really offer any suggestions when I was telling her that I was struggling on the weekend. I think I am going to just ask for the first girl when I go back. I don't like the manager. This may be moot anyway, cause that location closes at 5, and I work till 4:30, and since I left early today and now have to make up time, I won't be leaving till 5 for the next cpl weeks, so I need to go to a diff location that's open till 6.

I still like the program. It's the hardcore kick in the butt that I needed and last week I felt in control and svelte (hehe). I want to continue that. This is an expensive program, and I don't want to mess it up.

I'm feeling better now that I've eaten, and rested a bit. I am going to try and go for a run later. Just day 2 of C25K. Take it easy. Plus, there's a hockey game on tonight, go Canucks!! :)

Running NSV

Dusted off my gym shoes (and actually put them on!!) and went back to day 1 of week 1 of Couch to 5K. In the past I have gotten to maybe week 3 and quit because it just didn't seem like it was getting easier. Then I read something a little bit ago that made the proverbial light bulb go off in my head...on a blog somewhere, someone (a runner) said that the biggest mistake new runners make is going too fast. That is my problem. I would be doing the early days of C25K, but amping up my speed at the slightest indication that I could indeed go faster. Whatever happened to slow and steady wins the race??? Well I'm rediscovering that adage right now. I would amp up my speed so that by week 3 I was running anyway from 6.5-7.0 mph (treadmill talk)....no wonder I had no endurance!! As someone who doesn't run, yes I could run at that speed, but the levels never seemed to get easier...I would be DYING like half way through. Then I just realised, well, no crap, you're not giving your body any chance to get used to what it's doing. Yes we need to up our game, so our body gets confused, but like every session?? No. I'm a new runner, my lower half is heavy, and it takes a lot to move it...I need to focus on slow and steady.

So, today I ran at 6.0 the entire time. And I didn't die. Nor did I feel like I was crawling. It was work, but not so much work that I wanted to quit, or stop half way through. And the biggest bonus of them all??? NOT ONCE did I look at the time when I was running! Not at ANY of the intervals. Even the later ones when you're all hot and red and sweaty and just want it to be done. I ALWAYS peek...but I didn't :D I was very happy. So for my first foray back into exercising in like 2 months, I call that a definite success.

Now, I had also announced that I quit WW. I checked out Herbal Magic yesterday, and they do have a really great promotion going on. Now, I know the pitfalls of fad diets, and on the surface, HM may look like a fad...plus it is EFFING expensive, even with the promotion. They sell you supplements, which, truthfully, I am not convinced on terms of actual benefits. However, they do GUARANTEE your weight loss if you actually follow their program. This means, with only 18 lbs to go, I could be at goal by August. After 3 loooooong years, that is frickin amazing.

Now, I am broke, like so broke I have like $100 leftover at the end of the month after all of my bills are paid, but I squeezed HM in for at least a month. Also, to be honest, I'm going to try and get away with not buying supplements every week like they want you to, cause it is so expensive. I think if I am super diligent on my diet and my exercise, the supplements won't be as needed. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking for super weight loss with no efforts. But I am looking for motivation (you can get individual coaching 7 days a week if you wanted, and it's included in your program price)...so I am slated to go 3x per week. Plus, I needed more structure. WW was great for me when I was learning. But now it's so rote that I don't even try. Now I am trying because I am a little more restricted, like I was when I first joined WW. It's about portion control, and eating the recommended healthy guidelines, and of course drinking your water and making the right choices. I need this to get to goal, then I can maintain at a more comfortable level like with WW.

So I am happy right now. My bf is coming home from Morocco in 3 short/long days, and I am soooooo looking forward to seeing him! I'm not used to living by myself! Which means I should get my butt in gear and clean my disaster of an apt!!

Have a good week!!!

p.s. downfall to living by lake ontario? the frickin bugs! I'm currently on my balcony, and I'm still all sticky from the gym, and apparently that and the humidity is like honey to them!! I'm going inside before I get eaten alive!!

I'm Quitting...

Kind of. I'm quitting WW. I don't like it anymore, it's not working for me anymore. I had great success in my first 1-2 yrs, and with the lessons I learned, I managed to keep my 40 lbs off. But it has not worked for me in a looooong time. Before points plus, but just before. And now, I'm really not loving the new program. It's too much. As I said in a previous post, there is just too much room to screw up! Some leniency is needed and welcomed, but not this much. I have zero motivation to even work the program. So I'm leaving it. I already cancelled my online membership. I am continuing to use my fitness pal (great app, way better than WW), and tomorrow I am going to check out Herbal Magic. I've heard it's horribly expensive, but they have a special on this week, and I'm going to go check it out. You eat real food, but you check in with them like 3 times a week. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is.

Anyway...that is my plan. As well as dusting off my sneakers and giving them a workout. I'm sure they've missed it. As I have. In my non-exercising this past month or so, this is the first time I've missed it. That and a new plan of action, and I feel confident I can succeed.

Back to Struggling

Even with so much motivation around me, I am struggling with my exercise. I am tracking, and I am trying to limit the treats etc. (I survived standing for 10 minutes across from a pizza place that makes excellent pizza when I was tired, hungry, and soooooo not wanting to cook dinner when I got home, which is NSV in my book).

I was OP today. I drank my water, ate my fruit, and planned a WW friendly but comfort food dinner. I did eat some tortilla chips, but I tracked them, and moving on. I am now ignoring those darn chocolate chip cookies on my counter! Gotta stop buying those!! But I didn't exercise. Things are getting jiggly, and that's not cool.

The thing is, I liked the workouts I was doing...now where the heck is the motivation for doing them?? I have a good reward system. I even put my reward as my desktop wallpaper as a reminder. The workouts aren't long, and they make me feel strong and fit. But to actually get to the gym? Proving to be a lil bit of an issue. How do you push to get there? I can justify ANYTHING...so just telling myself, "no excuses" doesn't work for me, lol. My mom told me that I should have been a lawyer cause I could always argue any side of something. I'm actually usually pretty determined just as I leave work...but as I sit on the streetcar for 30 minutes it starts to fade away. By the time I reach my condo, all motivation is gone. I am kinda at wits end at this point. I don't know what else to try! It's super frustrating to not know myself well enough to figure out my trigger to force myself to do the things I don't want to do. You know what's worse?? I will wake up at 6 am to straighten my hair, but when I set the alarm for 6 am to work out, I reset my alarm. How sad is that?? UGH.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! Anyway...Ashley from WW has a 52 days till summer challenge and this week she challenged everybody to do something that scares us. Success scares me. So this week I challenge myself to be successful. I challenge myself to do my frickin workout tomorrow morning cause I have to work till 9pm tomorrow...and I will do it again on Thursday, and again on Friday. If I do that and track my food I will consider my week successful. Something has to click eventually...right?