Trying vs. Doing

I've thought about this before, when I was worried my intensity wasn't high enough. Now I think I'm just not doing enough. I think I am coasting. I ran twice this week. I plan on going tomorrow, but that's three times. I am getting back to my 10K training. I ran an easy 2 miles a couple days ago, and I'm going to try for 2.5 tomorrow to get back on my schedule. But there I go again...I'm going to "try"...why not, "I'm going to do 2.5 tomorrow"? My PT sessions start again Monday, so that's good. Gets me back on track with interval/strength training.

I think it's my runs that I need to amp up. I think I need to add in some speed work, sprints etc., because one thing I do notice already is my body getting used to the distances. I know that straight cardio is not the answer to weight loss, and I think I have this huge fear of plateauing due to my decision to try distance running. But then I think "hey, I'm working out 5 days a week, I'm doing enough"...but it's about working smarter right? Or perhaps in this case it is about working harder. At this moment my runs only equal about 30 minutes of cardio. I think I need to add more interval training into that. My PT sessions normally focus on my lower half, but there are lots of things you can do without overworking your muscles. I'm thinking of looking into yoga. With my back issues I think strength and stretching would be really beneficial.  I also really want to do a bootcamp but just haven't been able to afford it. If I do PT, running, yoga, and potentially bootcamp is that too much, or just enough? I just keep going back to the fact that after my runs, ya I'm winded, but I'm not destroyed. This will probably change the closer I get to 10K. But for now, it feels easy.

So I'm thinking that I need to double up some days. Run in the morning, PT at night; yoga in the evening, bootcamp/intervals in the morning etc. I am looking for that magical mixture of activity that will help me push past my limits and get where I want to be.

Going back to my title...I always say "try"...I'm going to "try" to go to the gym, I'm going to "try" to do 2.5 miles, I'm going to "try" to clean up my nutrition. It's time to just "do". Commit and focus, sacrifice where needed. I get a lot of inspiration from Alice over at Mommy Blog. She's got kids and still does everything from scratch and works out like crazy. Her post about food and not wanting her kids to eat at McDonald's really got to me. If someone who has a husband, two kids, amazing weight loss goals, and is going back to work soon can still work out like that, and cook everything from scratch, then why the heck can't I? There is no reason. I work 9-5. I have a demanding bf, not gonna lie, lol, but other than work and him and my small condo that I am essentially responsible for my life is not that stressful. It's not like before when I worked 3 jobs and was NEVER home. The only thing stopping me is my own apathy and that's pathetic.

I have the luxury of having a PT, of being able to do yoga and bootcamp (thank you new job), of being able to buy nutritious food, and of having the time to do everything from workout to eat properly. What I'm hampered with is my whining. "Oh it's hard, it takes too much time", "I just want a poutine!" Is a poutine really more important than reaching my goal? In the moment sometimes it is, lol. But overall, no it's not. This journey takes a certain amount of sacrifice. Between that and my illusion that I am working as hard as I can is what stops me every time.

So despite the fact that I have like a 100 special occasions coming up in the next few weeks (co-worker leaving next week, then my departure the week after), I am going to stop "trying" and start "doing". My goal for June is that. To actually push past my level and to stop my whining. And whenever I notice that I am slipping into whining (cause let's be honest, I should have a coping mechanism cause it's gonna happen), I will remind myself why I'm doing this:

1) To be healthy
2) To be the size (not necessarily weight) that I want
3) To bring back my self esteem
4) To prove that I can

I am going to find a yoga centre, or maybe even look in to the bodyflow classes at my gym cause $$ is still kinda tight. I am going to do everything my trainer tells me to do sans bitchy attitude. I am going to commit to eating healthy and continue to find healthy recipes that work for me so that I am satisfied with what I am eating. Because June is about "doing" and I am tired of just "trying".