Fitness challenges

I am feeling down right now. I got up this morning and put on my workout gear (lil bit tighter btw), and set up to do the 30DS. 30 seconds into it (literally like 30 seconds), my bf is like, I can't work like this (he's does freelance and has a few big projects in the works). It wasn't even up high. He's like, can't you use a headset or something? Uh, no...how does one work out tethered to the bloody tv? So I said, can't you use your headset? He has a wireless headset so he can listen to his music and not annoy me. I'm like, it's 30 minutes, you can't handle it for 30 minutes? Stony silence is all I got. I asked him about his headset, nothing. Then he's like, whatever, fine, just work. Which is code for, do it but I'm not going to be happy about it and I'll freeze you out for the next few hours.

So I turned it off. And he's like, I said do it! Just work! I'm like, no, you obviously can't handle 30 minutes of inconvenience so it's obvious you don't want me to do this. And he was like "ya right". I can't mimic the sound he made, but it was the incredulous sound...like, sure, blame me for not working out, cause you always find an excuse. It's so unfair. Getting back into fitness is hard! And he throws up an obstacle in my way, and then acts as if I am the one getting in the way of me working out? He can't handle 30 effing minutes of a workout DVD? When I handled 3 months of his family yelling (their form of talking) when I was trying to sleep?

So I'm disheartened. It was just such a selfish move. One of those moves that makes me want to crawl under the covers and never come out. One of those moves that shatters my confidence and makes me not want to do anything. I was already self-conscious about working out in front of him anyway.

I have another workout that doesn't require a DVD. But I'm feeling so self-conscious now that I don't even want to do that. 

Why today when I was just getting back into it? Why on this lovely holiday long weekend? Ugh there are a lot of whys and a lot of pity parties I could be holding for myself right now. I just need to buck up and do my other workout. If I don't, then he wins and I lose, because I'm the only one who suffers when I don't do the things I said I would.

Just wanted to get it out there.