Today is my take back my life day. I said that I would give myself the weekend and on Monday (yes, the cliched, proverbial Monday) that I would start fresh yet again. I will say I finished my weeked spectacularly at the Mandarin buffet restaurant. If you've been there, you know, if you havent, well, wear stretchy pants and a tummy hiding shirt is all I have to say.
This morning I am starting with my now apparently customary double double from tim's (damn you roll up the rim!!) I need to input this into my calorie counter app, but I don't think it's going to go very well :S I will have a WW bagel with light cream cheese for breakfast and hopefully (if my subway hurries up!) will have fruit for a snack (need to hit loblaws before work), along with a frozen thing for lunch with veg, and who knows for dinner. Today also marks my first foray into the gym since like January. It's going to hurt and I'm trying to psych myself up for that. Not sure I I'm succeeding, but whatever.
Anyway, I've also decide that I need some goals. Small, attainable, non-scary goals. They are:
1) exercise a minimum of twice/week...this really needs to be more, but I need something easy right now
2) drink water like it's going out of style
3) plan my meals an actually follow thru
4) Understand and control my food fixation
I am not going to make pounds lost goals, I am not going to make a goal that I will fit into a certain size, because I really need to wrap my head around the concept that I just need to be healthier, I don't need to be smaller. Well, I mean I do need to be smaller to be healthier, but I've found that there is so much fixation on what you look like versus how you feel. It's too much pressure.
#4 is especially important to me. When my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to Mandarin to celebrate his brother's gf's birthday, I jumped at the chance. And I ended up persuading him that we should go. Not because I really wanted to celebrate a birthday (although, please don't get me wrong, that was nice...she is a nice girl and I like her), but because of the food opportunity. The opportunity to gorge myself on delicious-ness was too much to pass up. My bf was on the fence...I mean, it is $24/person. And I persuaded him that we should go. This is an attitude that needs to be evaluated and examined, to see if I can find the root of my fixation. I believe that this will be the key to me permanently losing weight. I read something that made sense (though of course, the implementation has been difficult)...it was that we should only really treat ourselves to things that are truly treats. That caramel popcorn I only get once a year when my mom makes it at Christmas? Total treat, and I should indulge. McDonald's hamburger and fries? What, is McDonalds going out of business tomorrow? No? Then I probably don't need to indulge. It ain't goin anywhere! This has been hard, but it's what I'm going to try and focus on.
So...my plan for today?
1) Eat the food I outlined above with something healthy for dinner...I see chicken and veggies in my future, maybe a baked potato
2) GET TO THE GYM
That is all...baby steps